My second time around on the 90-day chart. 10 days.
I remember it was agony the first time. I cherished each new title. So I am Chazak Chazak now.
I'm glad I had to reset the count. It puts things into perspective for me, and it certainly creates a nice "syog" to the crazy behavior I exhibit when left to my own devices.
But I have not had any sex with myself for over 290 days, and I think it's really swell. I am also fairly confident I'm achieving "progressive victory over lust", however minute.
I start my days now with daily renewals, which includes getting on the phone with a fellow perv and admitting I am powerless over lust. I then acknowledge that I desire sobriety for the next 24 hours, and am willing to do whatever it takes to achieve this sobriety, like phoning, reading, praying, etc. I also verbalize my understanding that this deal is only on for the next 24 hours, and that at the end of this period I can either choose sobriety for another day, or go the other way. And I give my will over to G-d Who kept me sober yesterday, and will keep me sober today if I let Him.
This has been very helpful. I started doing a similar thing with alcohol. I am willing to get through the day without any alcohol intake, not even a cold one at the end of the day. So today is day 2.
Next things to tackle: fidgeting with my beard and burping at the dinner table. Also procrastination. But maybe I can deal with this one later...

You were the guy "chazakchazak", Obber?

G'morning, everybody!
How about this one from Dov (too good to pass up and not re-post on the best thread in GYE Universe - MINE):
I gotta point out as I usually do with Rav Amram Chasida (that's the one, right?):

He was a respected person - a talmid Chochom, apparently - when he had this experience. And yet he called out and embarrassed himself. Too many guys who need to quit and go to SA meetings, or post here and open up, or at least need to open up to somebody - do not do it. We are suddenly worried about chillul Hashem. Gevalt. Taking my os bris and masturbating myself to the picture of a shiksah in the bathroom is not a chillul Hashem - but being in a room of penitent perverts who really want to get better is? Such reasoning is a machloh. It's not shyness, and not frumkeit - it's really just so that we can keep our stash safe and keep on masturbating, that's all. It is very scary to let go - terrifying. I know it. Ad kan dvorov.
I heard it so many times, even from fellow GYE'rs:
"The meeting is in church? I can't go"
"There are goyim at the meeting? I can't share with them"
"Use my real first name? If I'm found out ('cause my gaonus +my real name is a true give-away) it'll be a chillul Hashem".
All the while these guys fail to stay sober for any tangible period.
All these are the tricks I used so I can keep on masturbating. That's all.

I think Mottel is referring to the "title" for level 2 on the 90 day chart.

dov wrote on 22 May 2012 18:37:


No, on the 90 day chart those within their first week get a title "b'derech hamesilo", then "chazak chazak", and all the way to Eved Hashem and Tzadik Gomur.
BTW, welcome to the forum. Please tell us your real first name and your struggles, and we'll help you get on the 90-day chart so you can try out those fancy titles for yourself

O'Mottel,
Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know I'm still interested and keeping up with your progress. And I still believe in you 100%, because you're willing to do whatever it takes. I just haven't had anything to add. You're doing great work.
Alex

Thanks!

I presume the author of the following is very young, but isn't this just a pearl? weren't we all at some point absolutely sure that we are the only ones with the problem and that noone else can possibly do what we do? Gosh, I thought that very thought just nine months ago...so here comes:
tocontrolmyself wrote on 23 May 2012 23:30:

hi Mottel!
just cruisin' by in my fancy monster-wheelchair
hope you are well and cookin' up a big buckwheat/tofu cheesecake for us

Nice to wave you by, Zemmy-me-boy.
Buckwheat/tofu cheesecake, ah? The combination of flavors....URJ is puking in the corner...

Nice work indeed! Keep on the trucking.

ontheedgeman wrote on 25 May 2012 01:58:

That's what I call "Recovery in six words".

300 days ago Hashem took me by the collar and dragged me kicking and screaming into this forum. I haven't watched porn or masturbated since. I still wanna do it every day, but with His help and the fellowship here help (as well as real life fellowship in form of SA)
I stayed sober again today. I will probably let Him do it again tomorrow.
Thank You, G-d, for keeping me sober yesterday and today, and for protecting me from disastrous consequences of my lust in the past. Please do it again tomorrow, just for a day.
Mottel

Ditto, Mottel. Thx (and congrats!)

Mazel Tov Mottel!!

KUTGW & KOMT!!!!

Gevura!