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To sobriety and beyond!

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: To sobriety and beyond! 32532 Views

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 26 Apr 2012 13:24 #136331

Jackabbey Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 835 Karma: 0	ve'ishooh bchol eileh lo motzosy

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 26 Apr 2012 16:15 #136344

obormottel
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AT 267 days sexually sober, I am coming up to 9 months. Of course, the Wife is leaving town next week for a few days and NIGHTS, to compound the challenge that usually arises around a milestone date. I'll be alone with the kiddies and with myself (which is scarier).
I finally had a chance to read my (new and improved) Step Two to my sponsor last night, so I feel somewhat enlightened. I worked ch. 28 from Tanya into the writing, and it actually made a big impression on my sponsor (who is an MOT, but not yet frum). He couldn't believe that a book written in 1790s could speak so well to a sexaholic. In turn, I can't believe that until my sexaholism was diagnosed, I could learn Tanya daily and not be helped. I think they call it denial. I was sure that the book was talking to someone else, not me, because how do you improve perfect? Thank G-d for finally cutting me down to size.
*********
Liquidating my business does nothing to cheer me up, and so I am procrastinating to the best of my abilities. I found that I am perfectly able to procrastinate for extended periods of time.
*********
Thanks for listening.

Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 26 Apr 2012 16:47 #136349

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	Sorry to hear about the business. Wishing you success. I know you'll sail through the wife's trip away.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 27 Apr 2012 02:10 #136379

ontheedgeman OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 391 Karma: 0	Speaking of procrastination, I'm not sure how you find it, but for me, it's directly connected to other aspects of the disease of addiction. As long as I'm procrastinating, i'm not recovering. it's like white knuckling. If I'm procreating, I can go back to my drug of choice after 9 months of sobriety and picked up right where I left off...
	Recovery in 6 words: Trust H". Clean House. Help others.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 02 May 2012 16:58 #136636

obormottel
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ontheedgeman wrote on 27 Apr 2012 02:10:

Speaking of procrastination, I'm not sure how you find it, but for me, it's directly connected to other aspects of the disease of addiction. As long as I'm procrastinating, i'm not recovering. it's like white knuckling. If I'm procreating, I can go back to my drug of choice after 9 months of sobriety and picked up right where I left off...

that is a scary thought. I pray to G=d you're wrong on this one...It is true, though, that if I act out once I will be right where I started, 9 months of drying out notwithstanding.

Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 02 May 2012 17:12 #136638

obormottel
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levite wrote on 27 Mar 2012 18:22:

CRITERIA FOR PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION

• Recurrent failure to resist impulses to view pornography

• More extensive/longer viewing of pornography than intended

• Ongoing, but unsuccessful, efforts to stop, reduce, or control behavior

• Inordinate amount of time spent obtaining pornography, viewing pornography, and/or being sexual—either through masturbation, or with another person or object, or recovering from sexual experiences

• Feeling preoccupied with fantasy, sexualized thoughts, and/or preparatory activities

• Viewing pornography takes significant time away from obligations: occupational, academic, domestic, or social

• Continuation of behavior despite consequences

• Tolerance—more frequent or intense pornography is needed over time to obtain the desired result

• Deliberately limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities in order to keep time open for finding and viewing pornography

• Distress, restlessness, or irritability if unable to view pornography (withdrawal)

a. dizziness

b. body aches

c. headaches

d. sleeplessness

e. restlessness

f. anxiety

g. mood swings

h. depression

The criteria listed above are the most common signs to look for in assessing a pornography addiction. If pornography addiction behaviors parallel sexual addiction, then a minimum of three of the above ten are needed for a pornography addiction to be considered present. Dr. Carnes has found that most sex addicts have five signs, while over 50 percent have seven.2

I can't resist re-posting this one. Just this morning I was thinking (as my wife is out town) that I am so cured, that a little porn can't harm me. Or actually, it doesn't need to be porn. I can just let my eyes wonder in the street a little. After all, I'm not doing anything...
So if I score 10 out of 10 on this one, and over 15 out of 20 on the sex-addiction test, and 19 out of 27 on some other devious sexual behavior test, I should probably concede I have a bit of a problem. And yet, every so often I get an idea in my head that my problems are exaggerated and I just need to relax and not worry about guarding my thoughts, eyes, and hands.
How kind is my G=d, that He continuously reminds me that He is my only hope. It's so easy to slip into thinking that "elilim" will save me.

Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 02 May 2012 21:18 #136659

chaimyakov
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Mottel,
That yh is not so smart just persistent. "Just cause i am an addict doesn't mean i can't still have a little fun" is probably the best line he has, it doesn't have to make sense if it works for him.
But remember "It works if you work it, but you have to work it every day and every night (even if your wife is away) cause you are worth it"
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD my friend and don't ever let me catch you.
chaimyakov

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 03 May 2012 05:59 #136680

obormottel OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1440 Karma: 6	shkoyich, chaver!
	Baby steps. If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas! Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 03 May 2012 11:49 #136691

TehillimZugger OFFLINE Platinum Boarder לבד הנשמה הטהורה Posts: 2446 Karma: 34	Sorry to hear about the business troubles, may Hashem be with you. I mean Notice that he's with you.
	?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 03 May 2012 16:48 #136711

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	Thanks for the reminder Mottel. I think that is one of the most difficult parts of being in recovery. Thinking that we are healed, or at least mostly healed, ok at least partly healed... and it can't hurt to take a peek can it? just one, it won't affect me, right?..... right? KOT!
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 04 May 2012 04:15 #136734

ontheedgeman OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 391 Karma: 0	tell me about it... I thought I was over it, done with.. then, hey, I can go for a legitimate massage... hey I can go for an almost legitimate massage... well slippery slope... so it goes...
	Recovery in 6 words: Trust H". Clean House. Help others.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 04 May 2012 08:35 #136749

TehillimZugger OFFLINE Platinum Boarder לבד הנשמה הטהורה Posts: 2446 Karma: 34	YoBroEdgeMan- You know what I realized- You don't have an official thread, which makes it very confusing to the rest of us [especially those who have to remember exactly what where and when it was that you said] can you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease open a thread? I'll be your first follower bl"n!
	?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 04 May 2012 19:13 #136786

ur-a-jew
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TehillimZugger wrote on 04 May 2012 08:35:

YoBroEdgeMan-
You know what I realized- You don't have an official thread, which makes it very confusing to the rest of us [especially those who have to remember exactly what where and when it was that you said] can you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease open a thread?
I'll be your first follower bl"n!

He was on the edge of starting one but somehow it just slipped away from him.

Help free Sholom Rubashkin by giving him the zechus of Shemiras Eiynayim. www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2809.0

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 06 May 2012 05:43 #136827

obormottel
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So I am nine months sexually sober as of Thursday. Feeling generally better about myself. Looking forward to cleaning out nookes and crannies of my character in the coming years. Somehow, this aspect of my religeous observance has eluded me so far. I was busy concentrating on Shabos and kashrus and Toiro learning, and forgot that rage and intolerance and haughtiness also require tshuvo. Not to mention watching my eyes. The latter is still a daily struggle, but I do get an occasional reprieve, when something triggering comes my way but I don't fall over myself trying not to look. I just don't look and move on. Surely, most days I go into a tearful tirade about how "I don't want to lust", but I am able to function almost well other times.
A gute woch to all my brothers in battle.
Mottel
P.S. there was a Dov sighting here recently. I wonder if this means storms a-coming.

Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

Re: To sobriety and beyond! 09 May 2012 18:25 #137006

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	Mottel, how goes things?
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ