Thanks! The only reason I did post it was because it failed. And it was dry and I had to torture it out of myself.
Thanks for yr input. Ill take more if anyone has it.

Hi Mottel,

i feel bad that you felt no one read your write-up. just wanted to point out that sometimes it takes time for people to get to the forum and read and digest and comment. ya' know "time takes time". so if no one comments it may be that they just were busy on a hunting trip, plowing the buckwheat field or watering the watermelon trees.

second, even though i see that you have Dov and Gibbor 'on your case' and they are much more proficient in the Program than i am, i just wanted to comment on what you wrote.

it sounds too good, too polished, too idealistic. it's not the raw you, with the lumps and bumps.
i would do the same thing, that's why i feel like i can critique it. i once wrote a step 4 in about 15 minutes and needless to say it was not accepted. i went back and spent days and days writing it up.

i admire your progress and perseverance and wish you continued hatzlocha
have a great shabbos
i'll have a drink for you tonite iy'h

so hupp cossack and may the buckwheat be with you

Lewis Carrol- Alice in Wonderland

Didn't read any posts for three days now. Not right now, either. It's the liberation I need right now to focus on taking a step back and letting go of some stuff, coming home for a while to rest.

Just to be polite to my sweet friends here, this is to report that b"H all is well but I am taking a break from the forum for a while to focus on my own recovery. I will be checking email for PMs, though. The forum is just too much time for me to handle time-wise, right now. Maybe for a few weeks, maybe a few months...no way to know, cuz it really is one day at a time. Love you!

Till then,

Dov

Well, I'm sober for another day, thank G-d!
I don't believe there is no heated discussion of Dov's departure, perhaps because he (cleverly) left his parting message on so many threads, that people don't know where to start.
I'm happy to open my thread to at least wishing Dov the best in his new life away from GYE (unless you already did it by PM'ing him), but also to see if there is life on GYE beyond Dov?!
Also, does it mean we just got downgraded, because the Great One is no longer with us? Or maybe it's like being thrown in the water in the middle of a lake and we now have no choice but to swim ashore?
Out of the kiddie pool, everybody, and start paddling...
Love to all,
Mottel

obormottel wrote on 16 Feb 2012 17:52:

TehillimZugger wrote on 15 Feb 2012 13:41:

ok....

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4049.msg133129#msg133129

Gut Shabbos, everyone!
Stay sober, brothers, nothing beats being good and sober.
Mottel

obormottel wrote on 17 Feb 2012 18:45:

... except having recovery buddies to share it with !

Have a great shabbos!

Still sober (208 DAYS), but had a small slip by watching a pg13 spy thriller, where one of the characters was married to his really hot actress. Couldn't get her out of my head for a while even though I walked out a couple of times when she was in the foreground.
But the scariest thing happened today.
I walked into a convenience store and there on the central display there was this magazine which once a year dedicates an issue to my favorite type of insanity. I haven't missed an issue (and consequent obsession with its images and mast..ing) in years.
So today I glanced at the cover, and moved on, but I almost felt enchanted in my desire to take it and at least peruse the images in the store.
I realized now, that I don't believe in anything. That the only thing I truly love, and the only thing that embues me with fear, is this magazine with its yearly collection of images. That is my higher power, and I totally worshiped it today, even though I didn,t touch or look at it.

i know exactly which magazine you are talking about and battled my own battle over it the other day.  Baruch Hashem  for the awareness that i am not normal and never will be(was). 
Hatzlach in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov

btw it was good talking with you the other day

okay party people, it's your daily prostration reminder.  get on the floor and cover your head, and say, "Hashem, I offer myself to YOU, fully!! ALLOW ME TO DO YOUR WILL ALWAYS!!" Slaughter the Korban, get on the altar.  you were not made to look at shmutz like a heathen, you were made to illuminate (a small portion of) the earth with the Divine Flow.  Capitalize on that!

-Matisyahu

Real life is hard. But its harder if you are glued to your computer and the shmutz on it.
My life now is hard, with a lot of sad and disheartening realizations, but at least my pants are zipped up for the most part.