my previous thread was moved to the married guys forum, so i want to start another one that is really just for a daily log of my struggle.
(Moderators, will you let me know if i should rather do this in the married  section rather?)
so, yesterday was really hard. i was on a good run (for me 11 days) and the stuff that i discovered yesterday really just sent me for a loop.
it wasnt so much that i was dying to use, i was just so angry with everything that i purposely ignored all of my tools to try help me stay clean, and one thing led to another and i fell.
its really disheartening because i was so close to making 2 weeks, and just in time for R'H also, but i guess thats the way things go. so i'm back on track this morning, with all my reminders and things in place, and im really feeling confident that with Hashems help, and R"H and all the chagim on the way, i can stay clean for longer.
im still so angry though, but thats something for the other thread.
thanks guys

good to see you here

hope to see you soon "there" soon

hatzlochah Rabah the yetzer harah is allways so strong on me leading into the yomim noroim I know it every time but still he gets me.We must know that every day is new and he wants us to ve stuck in yesterday so what a great thing to have a new day with new oppurtunities especially since you have some succsess behind you.

thanks mechazek. ya, its great having a bit of success, but it also makes the fall that much harder, because you know where you have been. im focusing on the positive though! i know where i have been, and i will get there again and further!

so, its been really rough at home, with whats going on with my wife and all. im still so angry i cant really focus on getting it together, you know? but im trying. just for today! i can hold out til Rosh Hashona in a couple hours, and then i can coast for a couple days:)
it really is much harder this time of year.

thank you so much everyone for all the love  and with the help of Hashem and awesome ppl like those we find here, may this year only see only joy ans success and plenty of trucking!

Eizehu wrote on 28 Sep 2011 08:46:


It's easier to feel anger than pain.  I just read through your post on the other thread, and what I felt was pain. Betrayal. Rejection. Powerlessness.

Daven for help from Above.  Do your part.  It's OK to cry.  Then move on into the solution (see Dov's post for that).

You can have a very strong marriage if the two of you can work through this.  It will take time.  Wounds need time.  And time heals wounds.

Hatzlacha!
Alex

[While you're looking for a therapist, your wife can start getting help and support on the women's side of GYE.  Before Guard put up the mechitza, I peeked, and  a woman there was discussing that she was doing exactly what your wife was doing.]