Hey Everyone,
I just reached 90 days for the first time in my life which I am extremely grateful for. What worked for me is going to SA meetings, working the 12 steps and getting outside of my head and into real life. Most of the time  spent was in my head which is not a good place to be in for an addict like myself. Making calls to friends who I met in meetings helped me build a connection with fellow addicts and has been one of the keys on my journey of recovery. The change in my attitude of recovery has changed completely from before I started SA and now. Before the goal for me was to count days and beat the streak and as long as I didn't act out then I had been successful. Now I realize that it goes far deeper than that. Recovery is an inside job for me. I was connecting to lust fantasy,pornography, and masturbation. In order to recover I must make a connection to people and God and for me this is done by working the 12 steps. I need to stay connected now. Even if I stay sober for today but do not make any connection to God or the people around me I would be truly white-knuckling a way that I will eventually act out which will end up horribly for me if I do so. For me its not just about sobriety, it's about positive sobriety, something my sponsor has been telling me about which I never understood until recently. I would like to thank GYE for helping the world in this addiction and sickness. Without it there would be no way I would have been in an SA fellowship which one day at a time is giving me a positive lifestyle something I never even dreamed of a year ago.
Best wishes and a chag kasher v'sameach

Dear 'bob',

What you wrote helps me so much that i had to comment. Your journey is the same as mine, though we are surely coming from different places and going to different ones, too. I have discovered that it's OK to say we are here for different reasons, to accomplish different things. But the overall destination is the same: the truth. Life was like a big chulent of lies for me and my family before. Now - because of recovery - there is quite a bit of honesty in our lives, in this little corner of the big old world. It's nice.

So please keep sharing what you find with others, OK amigo?

Bob

I second Dov. You gave a perfect summary of the whole 12 step approach and how it is different and better then the toughing it out white knuckling approach.

Thank you, and much continued hatzlacha

Yasher Koach!
What you said about getting out of your head into real connection with people - I totally agree.


Real pleasure and satisfaction is only gained by helping others be happy. That is impossible with thoughts or pictures etc.
Getting into someone's life who needs you, and responds to your giving is the positive way to draw oneself out of the loneliness and sadness that leads to bad behaviour.
So look around - who is looking for help? You have much more than many, especially in certain areas that your are skilled and strong.
The week of Chesed of Sfira is just over, into gevura - conquering your Yetzer.
Upwards and onwards!