I'm not back. Really!

But, first, I want to thank everyone for their nice posts (I inspire Mom, WOW!)

Next, to answer Guard's question, medication has leveled the playing field for me to grant me the feeling of a fair choice instead of waking up feeling absolutely compelled to act out. Also, I'm seeing a "new" therapist (for about 4 months).

To answer the other question, why is talking to myself important. Well, that's part of the therapy. So, how do I feel. Say I feel anxious. Why do I feel anxious? I fought with my wife this morning (not really, but just an example). What can I do to correct that? Maybe call her, ask her how's she's doing and tell her I love her.

Guard, you are absolutely right, that even though this site might not have been the LAST step that got me to this point, however, this site definitely boosted me and guided me. You all taught me never to give up. To keep on trying different things until I find what works for me. I also followed your guide book steps (site, therapy, medication). Also the friends I've met here have really helped me in times of crisis (one person in particular who'll remain unmentioned probably saved my life twice, a real shaliyach from Hashem).

Life is us putting together our puzzle. Hashem knows what the final picture looks like, and we don't. Our job is to find the correct pieces and put them together. I don't think I could have gone to the therapist I'm going to, or considered  taking the medication I need to balance myself if I hadn't joined GYE. GYE is a very important piece of my life puzzle. Thank you.