For those too shy to call my number, here's what my voicemail says
HI! You have reached Eerie. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone and give you a hug, so here's the next best thing. If you would like for me to call you back, it would be my utmost pleasure, so just press 1, and leave your phone number and the best time to send you a hug and I'll do my best to call you back within 10 months.  If you are feeling ignored, please email chaim.oigen@gmail.com so he can commiserate. If you are feeling so ignored that you want to scream, press 2 to be connected to Redfaced. He just loves getting screamed at. Just beware he can scream pretty well, too. If you would like to leave a compliment of some sort, you probably have the wrong number, so just hang up. If this is a real emergency, hang up and dial 800-NEED-HHM. Or keep calling me. Eventually my willpower to ignore you will run  out and I will be forced to answer. If you would like to get a free package of popcorn for the next hocking thread, press 9 to enter the raffle. If you are finding this voicemail helpful to listen to, press 8 to hear it again. Have a wonderful day! And don't forget, KEEP TRUCKING! beep...

eerie wrote on 20 Jan 2025 18:55:

That's better. 

I'll take the popcorn any day...and YKW, I'll add you into the message if you want, like "If you are wondering what that blood is that's dripping down your neck, if you were driving while wearing a hat when it happened, press 5 before you become a zombie. If you already became a zombie, press 6 to reach YKW, who will direct the rest of your life. If you were dancing while this happened, check if Tzitzis Dude is next to you."

I needed these smiles today, agav. 
Thanks, Chevra 

chaimoigen wrote on 20 Jan 2025 19:38:

That exactly what I meant by this.
redfaced wrote on 11 Nov 2024 22:52:

eerie wrote on 20 Jan 2025 18:55:

Halo R' eerie, you forgetting the main ting;

If you very mad that I don't answering and you scary from redfaced screaming on you, so instead you leider fall... press 5 for the address from Babayakob's mikvah, where you can toivel zich in 40 suu fish zaft geshamim for free, and on leil shishi they also giving heise overnight keegil and shmaltzige chulent with huge peices bookkur inside the bor, so you have what to eating when you just veiking zich in the smoking hot fish zaft.

I have generally had an easy time with eerie picking up my calls and only recently got ignored. Since this was a new development for me I couldn’t fall back on thoughts like “this problem started when you were so young, it’s not your fault,” and getting ignored by eerie was really weighing me down.

I have found much comfort the last few days reading everyone’s open posts about their eerie struggles. I admire your vulnerability. I took a lot of your suggestions to heart, but neither TAPHSiC nor freezing myself into an ice cube and dropping myself into his Coke worked for me, personally. Though being in a frozen cube for so long was surely a שמירה in other areas והמבין יבין.

I actually have been trying a new method recently which has really helped me turn my life around: Ignoring eerie when he calls me back! I can’t promise it will work for everyone, but I would definitely give it a try! 

thank you @authenticeved
i was wondering why he ever called me back anymore
- now I know that he is suffering from 'he being ignored syndrome' and doesn't wanna take risks....

Had i known that so many people were suffering from this i would have opened this thread ages ago. 

I love the pain emanating from these posts 

Better than anyone frozen into an ice cube in anyone's cope on a charger made of anyone's ashes.

Ahhhhhh

can't believe that i missed this thread!!!!!!!!!! i mustv'e been on the phone with eerie!!!!!!! now for all you people out there eerie has all the time in the world for me every and any day! please don't bash him, what do you expect that he should hang up on the choshuveh altehmirrer in order to take your call?????????? seichel guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems as though I am late to the party...again...whoopee

Please excuse my ignorance, it seems clear that I am missing something here...
The truth is that I am very nervous to share this so please remember that "They Say" that GYE is non-judgmental, accepting, warm(?), and all that stuff...

With great trepidation, I ask...

WHO IN THE WORLD IS EERIE???
And why would he ignore everyone's calls???