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The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled
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TOPIC: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 17453 Views

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 22 Dec 2024 02:39 #427600

  • tzitzis dude
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What the blazes is it with cleaning ladies? Why does my wife feel the need to clean before she comes?
Now, ours is sometimes sent by my shvigger, and lemme tell you, oysh. SHE decides where things go. For crying out loud, our hamper has two sections- one for undershirts, weekday and shabbos shirts and the like (otherwise known as the “whites bin). The second section is for everything else. This one’s known as the “colors bin”. Well, guess who knows better than us? Yep. It’s the far’shtunkenuh cleaning lady. 

We have one of those swiffer mop thingys for when yours truly is feeling lazy, and a regular mop and pail for when he wants to do it right. Any guesses who gives a big, fat (pun intended- she’s not a hottie) stink if she can’t find the easy way out? Yep, you got it again!

 The list goes on…
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.
Last Edit: 22 Dec 2024 02:40 by tzitzis dude.

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 25 Dec 2024 02:50 #427914

  • tzitzis dude
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We were scheduled to have an evaluator come to our home this morning to get the baby approved for speech therapy. (He has some hearing loss- this is NOT what the Grouch is about) The evaluator is apparently a good friend of my shvigger, and we were informed/cautioned/warned that the state of cleanliness of our home would make it to the shvigger. Nu. Annoying, but shoyn. 
Last night, by the time I got home (close to 9:00) my wife was utterly zonked, and she asked if she could go to sleep while I clean up. I, being the star husband that I am, said “Sure, honey! Shluff gezunt!!”. After trying to eat some cold chicken I started feeling quite unwell. Really wanted to take it easy, but I’d given my word! So, I cleaned. And I tidied. Swept. The whole 9 yards. I was feeling so shvach that I had to take two mini naps. (Yes, at night.) By the time I was finished (around 12:00), I was so weak I had to daven in the house and stumble off to bed. 

P.S. it snowed. All of under 2 inches. (Yes, it’s like I won a few cents in the lottery yet again) The evaluator said she’s coming back next week, so I’ll need to get the house spotless all over again!!!
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.
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