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Embarrassing things we all do and think
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TOPIC: Embarrassing things we all do and think 13941 Views

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 11 Mar 2024 15:48 #409883

chaimoigen wrote on 11 Mar 2024 03:38:
When you’re in the middle seat on the plane and you don’t want to wake up the lady next to you but you REALLY need the bathroom but you dont even know HOW to wake her up and you wish that you would had the guts to ask to switch seats but you were afraid of making a stink and whatever and you REALLY need the bathroom and then she wakes up and goes to use the bathroom and you’re waiting in the aisle and trying not to dance until the dratted lady gets out.

Poke her with your meal tray or something. Mstama that's muttar and also not weird.
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
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Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 11 Mar 2024 15:57 #409884

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chooseurname wrote on 11 Mar 2024 15:48:

chaimoigen wrote on 11 Mar 2024 03:38:
When you’re in the middle seat on the plane and you don’t want to wake up the lady next to you but you REALLY need the bathroom but you dont even know HOW to wake her up and you wish that you would had the guts to ask to switch seats but you were afraid of making a stink and whatever and you REALLY need the bathroom and then she wakes up and goes to use the bathroom and you’re waiting in the aisle and trying not to dance until the dratted lady gets out.

Poke her with your meal tray or something. Mstama that's muttar and also not weird.

You can also try the obnoxious sneeze method 

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 12 Mar 2024 18:20 #409999

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When you dance with someone in the middle of the circle at a chsunah, being usure when to end the awkward shuffling, and suddenly remember to adjust your head gear hoping they find someone else to dance with in the interim. 

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 11 Apr 2024 22:18 #411641

iyh2023 wrote on 12 Mar 2024 18:20:
When you dance with someone in the middle of the circle at a chsunah, being usure when to end the awkward shuffling, and suddenly remember to adjust your head gear hoping they find someone else to dance with in the interim. 

Or when you finally get in to dance with the chosson and they suddenly decide to slow down the music so no one is dancing anymore but just jumping up and down..happened to me too many times
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Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 11 Apr 2024 22:33 #411643

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Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 11 Apr 2024 22:18:

iyh2023 wrote on 12 Mar 2024 18:20:
When you dance with someone in the middle of the circle at a chsunah, being usure when to end the awkward shuffling, and suddenly remember to adjust your head gear hoping they find someone else to dance with in the interim. 

Or when you finally get in to dance with the chosson and they suddenly decide to slow down the music so no one is dancing anymore but just jumping up and down..happened to me too many times

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Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 25 Apr 2024 02:00 #412179

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Who else?

 Who else made a bracha by urchatz? (Especially after preaching to my son to NOT make one)
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
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“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 25 Apr 2024 22:32 #412211

No one by my seder
but only because i announced, "ok who's gonna be THAT GUY who will make a bracha by urchatz?"
איש את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק!! (ישעיהו מא:ו)
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Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 26 Apr 2024 02:22 #412225

tzitzis dude wrote on 25 Apr 2024 02:00:
Who else?

 Who else made a bracha by urchatz? (Especially after preaching to my son to NOT make one)

I love your posts on this thread, tzitzis dude. I have made a bracha by urchatz before, but I didn't this year. What I did--embarrassingly--do this morning is make a bracha on my tefillin shel yad even though my practice is to refrain from making brochos on my tefillin during Chol HaMoed.

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 26 Apr 2024 02:23 #412226

And just for good measure let me add this one...

Who else has sleepily put on your tallis on Shabbos/Yontif morning and then instinctively taken your arm out of your sleeve as if you are readying yourself to put on your tefillin? How do you get out of that one? Scratch your arm incessantly to make it appear that that's why you uncovered your arm? I don't know. Painful...

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 26 Apr 2024 05:11 #412231

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Who else said “Hakol Yoducha” loudly and with great feeling on Yom Tov morning? 
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 26 Apr 2024 15:33 #412246

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that was me .... both days

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 26 Apr 2024 15:47 #412248

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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 26 Apr 2024 02:23:
And just for good measure let me add this one...

Who else has sleepily put on your tallis on Shabbos/Yontif morning and then instinctively taken your arm out of your sleeve as if you are readying yourself to put on your tefillin? How do you get out of that one? Scratch your arm incessantly to make it appear that that's why you uncovered your arm? I don't know. Painful...

The only solution is to take the other arm out, remove the jacket for at least 5-10 minutes and suffer the consequences. 
I know it sounds rough, but what are your options, to bear the בושה?
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 26 Apr 2024 16:02 #412249

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tzitzis dude wrote on 26 Apr 2024 15:47:

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 26 Apr 2024 02:23:
And just for good measure let me add this one...

Who else has sleepily put on your tallis on Shabbos/Yontif morning and then instinctively taken your arm out of your sleeve as if you are readying yourself to put on your tefillin? How do you get out of that one? Scratch your arm incessantly to make it appear that that's why you uncovered your arm? I don't know. Painful...

The only solution is to take the other arm out, remove the jacket for at least 5-10 minutes and suffer the consequences. 
I know it sounds rough, but what are your options, to bear the בושה?

... and then open all the windows in the shul. it's waaaaay too hot in shul

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 03 May 2024 00:33 #412443

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Way too often, when I’m davening שמונה עשרה with the chazan as he does חזרת הש״ץ, when we get up מודים, I just do the מודים דרבנן along with the ציבור. 
That’s when I give the ultra casual cough and transition back to the regular מודים. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 03 May 2024 14:02 #412468

tzitzis dude wrote on 03 May 2024 00:33:
Way too often, when I’m davening שמונה עשרה with the chazan as he does חזרת הש״ץ, when we get up מודים, I just do the מודים דרבנן along with the ציבור. 
That’s when I give the ultra casual cough and transition back to the regular מודים. 

Often, when davening on autopilot (and there's a glitch in the system), when I reach מודים, I find myself taking three steps back and go, "Oops, oh well, I guess it was bashert."
That's when I do an ultra-casual prance out of the room.
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