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TOPIC: Siri & co. 736 Views

Siri & co. 26 Mar 2020 14:50 #348093

  • tzitzis dude
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This thread is gonna be for all the groaners we’ve gotten from Siri (and Alexa, and others). Here goes 

I asked my new friend to meet me at the gym, but he never showed up. 
I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:26 #354004

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Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:27 #354005

  • tzitzis dude
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To the two criminals who stole my calendar:

I hope you both get six months.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:28 #354006

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My printer just told me that it was joining a band. 
Which makes sense. 
It loves to jam.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:29 #354007

  • tzitzis dude
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Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 20 Aug 2020 01:23 #354020

  • Meyer M.
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I'm going to look for the laffy taffy box now....
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Siri & co. 21 Aug 2020 00:24 #354054

  • Happy58
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Apparently 7 is some kind of number cannibal.

Re: Siri & co. 21 Aug 2020 08:24 #354066

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Happy58 wrote on 21 Aug 2020 00:24:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Apparently 7 is some kind of number cannibal.

LOVE IT!!!!
On a similar note, why is Yoda afraid of Seven?
Because Six Seven Eight.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 25 Oct 2020 13:51 #356657

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If your band ever goes on tour, make sure you bring along a Latvian sound engineer. 
And a Czech one, too. 
And a Czech one, too. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 25 Oct 2020 13:52 #356658

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Never trust an atom. They make up everything. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 25 Oct 2020 13:52 #356659

  • tzitzis dude
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A bad limbo player walks into a bar. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.
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