Hello All, I am deeming this GYE's second pick-me-up spot.
I am getting the following jokes from Jewish jokes .
Please post anything you want to, as long as it's pretty funny.

My heroic Zeida
My Zaida was very religious. He prayed 3 times a day and laid tefillin every morning. One night, he heard a noise downstairs and having no fear for his safety went downstairs to see what it was. It was a burglar and he was putting my Zaida’s silver cutlery, wine goblets and candlesticks into a bag. This made my Zaida very angry and he shouted at him to stop. He then tried to take the bag away but when he reached for it, the burglar pulled a knife out of the bag and was just about to stab my Zaida when all of a sudden, my Zaida screamed out "nisht mit the milchidic messer" (not with the dairy knife).