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TOPIC: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 8554 Views

Lag Baomer Baseball Game 03 May 2011 05:06 #104976

Reb Yid
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Ok all you heroes out there!! It is that time of year again!! Time for the annual (drum roll please......)

Lag Baomer Baseball Game!!

I will be holding tryouts over the next few weeks in preparation for the big game. We will be taking on a new opponent this year - The Satan Island Devils!!!

If you'd like to tryout out, please sign up by listing your name, (pseudonyms are fine

) position, and reason why you think I should pick you for the team. Remember, these Devils of Satan are always well prepared, and we will need to assemble the best we got to take them on. I will start by signing up myself first.

Name - Reb Yid
Occupation - Rebbe
Position - any and all of them (except catcher. I once broke my leg sliding into 3rd that way....)
Reason to join - I've been fighting Satan and his Devilish fiends for years!! And I've got the black eye to prove it!!

I am special
I was chosen for this special mission.
I must succeed.
Klal Yisroel needs me.
Hashem needs me.
Chizuk From the Parsha www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3456.0
Letter From YH www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3445.0;attach=1631

Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 03 May 2011 10:59 #104994

ben durdayah
Current streak: 49 days
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No, that is not a mouse...
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Karma: 5

Did somebody say baseball?

ben durdayah wrote on 04 Jan 2011 12:13:

Here's the play by play

BOB:Back again at GYE Stadium. So here we are bottom of the twelfth, seventh game of the World Series, Guards have got men on second and third , two outs...Lusters have 13 and White Hats 10...It doesn't get more intense than this Phil, the winner takes all and the loser... up comes Rob Hagone to the plate. Rob had a double and two home runs today, he's on fire... catcher calls for a time out and goes out to the mound...pitcher Jose Yetzeroni nods his head...I don't believe it... he's throwin' them high and wide... an intentional walk....

PHIL: I guess Yetzeroni doesn't care if the bases are loaded, he's scared of Hagone today and wants to get to the next batter who's on deck...Ben Durdayah... he's counting on the fact that he's a leftie and hoping to get him with his famous split finger- middle finger -fast-curve-breaking-ball. The Guards look furious, they were counting on their veteran heavy hitter to get them out of the mud...And folks there you have it, we'll probably be seein' y'all by the post game show within the next two minutes....with another missed opportunity story for the hapless White Hats...

BOB: OK, Ben steps up to the plate...You know Phil, that Ben has had some good years but lately he's really been in a slump...and the pitch...a swing and a miss...strike one

PHIL: The wind up, delivery, far and wide. Ben D. is 1-1, and the pitch....wow...that almost grazed his stomach....2-1.....Yetzeroni seems to be gettin' agitated...

BOB:And the pitch...a bit ouside...Ben takes a chop at it...it's goin' up up up....really close to the pole...Foul tip...and the count is 2-2 for old Durdy....and the pitch...ball 3....the sweat is pouring down Yetzeroni's face...he didn't want to see himself in this position...Ben's hangin' in there...The crowd is on their feet making noise like a jet plane before take-off... you could cut the tension here with a spoon

PHIL: And the pitch....OHMIGOSH....I don't believe it that must be 100MPH on the radar....A swing and a....IT IS HIGH...IT IS FAR... it is going...going GONE!!! A grand slam homerun....I don't believe it...he broke the bat on this one and still hit it way out of the park....the fans are goin' wild....Ben Durdayah saves the day...And the final score is Guards 14 Lusters 13...

BOB: V'hayah H' L'melech Al Kol Ha'Aretz WOW! Yetzeroni seems to have fainted...paramedics are running out to the pitcher's mound, but they can't get there... I think they're gonna get trampled by the fans charging the field...Oh well, maybe he's dead...the hundreds of police officers here can't hold them back...Durdy's surfing on the crowd's heads....

PHIL: Well you've heard it here folks, the Guards have finally done it thanks to a totally unexpected Grand Salami by Ben Durdayah in the bottom of the twelfth....Please stick with us for the post game show after the following commercials...

BOB: This telecast of the GYE Guards has been brought to you by our proud sponsors: BARDY'S TRUCKING, EYCE CREAM, and of course WOODFORD, the official drink of GYE, who would like to remind you that friends don't let friends truck drunk or surf the net unfiltered.

For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee

Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 03 May 2011 14:07 #105000

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	name: Zemiros occupation: ~~nasal decon~~Jester position: alternating between right field and left field, depending on the batter. right-handed batter, give me left field and vice versa, wouldn't want to get interrupted in middle of zemiros with a ball that is high, and far... reason to join: if you can't beat 'em join 'em.
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 03 May 2011 17:21 #105033

Reb Yid OFFLINE Gold Boarder TKO the YH Posts: 274 Karma: 10	It's funny, but when I was young the coach always used to tell me that my official position was "Left Out"!!! Don't fret! You are on the team!
	I am special I was chosen for this special mission. I must succeed. Klal Yisroel needs me. Hashem needs me. Chizuk From the Parsha www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3456.0 Letter From YH www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3445.0;attach=1631 Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 03 May 2011 21:35 #105076

heuni memass	cheerleaders club here ???
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 03 May 2011 23:31 #105084

Reb Yid OFFLINE Gold Boarder TKO the YH Posts: 274 Karma: 10	Our cheerleaders must be dressed in "Jacket tie and cane". All other cheerleaders work for the Satan's Devils!! (and they are very good at what they do ) Welcome aboard!!
	I am special I was chosen for this special mission. I must succeed. Klal Yisroel needs me. Hashem needs me. Chizuk From the Parsha www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3456.0 Letter From YH www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3445.0;attach=1631 Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 04 May 2011 00:58 #105086

shteeble OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2024 Karma: 30	Name: Don't remind me. Occupation: Hi Sayer, Coffee Drinker, Lemonade Vendor, Kvetcher, and Costume Shop employee. Position: Cholent Stand Guy. Reason to Join: Does the other team need a reason? This is war. Fill your cholent bowls. Let's Go!
	some of my threads Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 04 May 2011 01:39 #105088

Reb Yid OFFLINE Gold Boarder TKO the YH Posts: 274 Karma: 10	I see. We are in big trouble. I got 3 guys want to play. 1 wants to sing. 1 wants to cheer. (with a jacket tie and hat) And 1 wants to sell Cholent. Maybe I can get Durdaya out of retirement........
	I am special I was chosen for this special mission. I must succeed. Klal Yisroel needs me. Hashem needs me. Chizuk From the Parsha www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3456.0 Letter From YH www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3445.0;attach=1631 Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 04 May 2011 07:54 #105102

ben durdayah Current streak: 49 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder No, that is not a mouse... Posts: 1253 Karma: 5	Name: Ben Durdayah Occupation: Recovering Sicko, Dapper Author, Possum Shtreimel Macher, and of course Tatty. Position: Designated Driver Reason to Join: Being useful to others (Reb Yid asked that I get out of retirement)
	For Dov and the other two guys who care, My real name really is Eli Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 04 May 2011 13:56 #105109

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	if i remember correctly, the team that wins does so with a bunch of virtuous, wise, non-exercised, guys who learn lots of Torah, have loads of bills to pay and have a Rebbe (that means you, Reb Yid ) who can produce intense thunderstorms on-demand. i think you should revamp your requirements....
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 04 May 2011 17:59 #105144

Reb Yid
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TKO the YH
Posts: 274
Karma: 10

OK fine. I will change my original application.

Reb Yid wrote on 03 May 2011 05:06:

Name - Reb Yid
Occupation - Rebbe
Position - any and all of them (except catcher. I once broke my leg sliding into 3rd that way....)
Reason to join - I've been fighting Satan and his Devilish fiends for years!! And I've got the black eye to prove it!!

Ok let's see if this is better:

Name: Reb Yid
Occupation: Rebbe, part time baseball coach for a discombobulated bunch of Yeshivishe vendors, and holy Kabbalist with mystical powers to bring rain.
Position: All of them. Period.
Reason to join: ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

PS - Zem, you got it wrong. You said:

if i remember correctly, the team that wins does so with a bunch of virtuous, wise, non-exercised, guys who learn lots of Torah, have loads of bills to pay and have a Rebbe (that means you, Reb Yid

) who can produce intense thunderstorms on-demand.

Right on all accounts except 1.

THEY DIDN'T WIN!!!
THE GAME WAS CALLED ON ACCOUNT WE GOT A FLOOD!!!
I WANT TO WIN!!!

I think by the time this game is over it would be a good thing that we have Durdaya as the designated driver. I'm gonna need to get wasted.........

Pps - That reminds me. Do you think we can recruit Dov to be the official "Team Psychiatrist"? Looks like we will need one.

Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 04 May 2011 18:18 #105145

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	you are right about the winning, they didn't win in the conventional sense, they surrendered to win Dov as psychiatrist sounds great! is anyone else ready to have a real baseball game on Lag Ba'omer? anyone not wanting to break anonymity can wear a paper bag over their head with eyeholes...
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 05 May 2011 20:05 #105284

heuni memass	got my new glove for the game. Now i need to sit on it till log b'omer.
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 05 May 2011 20:11 #105286

ben durdayah
Current streak: 49 days
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No, that is not a mouse...
Posts: 1253
Karma: 5

Reb Yid wrote on 04 May 2011 17:59:

I think by the time this game is over it would be a good thing that we have Durdaya as the designated driver. I'm gonna need to get wasted.........

No chance that I can play designated driver. I was just joking. In reality, I could down more Woodford in a sitting than Reb Bard's (Heh heh, if he's still lurking around here, I bet that'll get him out of hiding...).

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 04 May 2011 18:18:

anyone not wanting to break anonymity can wear a paper bag over their head with eyeholes...

Or a catcher's mask...

Or a goalie's mask (no razor blade fingernails though... that could get messy)...

For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee

Last Edit: by .

Re: Lag Baomer Baseball Game 05 May 2011 20:15 #105287

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	maybe we can add some non-athletic entertainment for the more sedentary elements antique truck show in the parking lot possum trapping tournament roadkill-cholent cook-off sushi wrapping contest maybe Billy the kickboxing instructor can be the umpire perhaps we can get the Rebbe to give the pre-game invocation, blessing of the pinstripes and the presentation of Bardichev's Bat
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .