yehudi1 wrote on 15 Mar 2023 17:34:
many married men continue to struggle. Do you see this continued struggle a result of a lack of Sholom Bayis? Why isn't the shmirah of a wife sufficient for many men?
Ahhhh, the million dollar question! concernedjew21 has given a very deep answer here.
But I think the question really touches on something very deep about the human psyche: We always covet what we don't have. Why? Because a person is on this earth to be in a constant struggle with the yetzer hara and OVERCOME his struggles.
If he would not struggle, there would be no purpose for him on this world and he would... die.
People can covet certain women, and guess what? Very often, the husbands of those women, are coveting other women. Crazy! But that's life.
Now, about the Chazal. I think what Chazal are saying is that marriage is one
tool in a person's arsenal against the yetzer hara. There many tools. Chazal say the Torah is a tool, for example. Yet, there are many b'nei Torah who struggle.
Marriage will help a person
only if he is in battle mode and very aware that the yetzer hara is around the corner. If a person is alert, marriage is a huge help. But if he's not, he will struggle like anyone else. And even he has "great" shalom bayis.
Just my thoughts, but curious to hear what others think.