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[POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life?

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TOPIC: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 48484 Views

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 27 Dec 2009 21:58 #38665

Ineedhelp!! OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1058 Karma: 2	I voted a no-go. It would be too weird. If I knew someone I wouldnt tell that I know them, I hope they would do the same for me (thats a message for anyone out there who thinks they know me ;D ) I would really like to keep my anonomity on this website. -Yiddle
	Last Edit: by benrael.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 27 Dec 2009 22:51 #38681

kedusha Current streak: 717 days OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 3167 Karma: 46	Yiddle2 wrote on 27 Dec 2009 21:58: I voted a no-go. It would be too weird. If I knew someone I wouldnt tell that I know them, I hope they would do the same for me (thats a message for anyone out there who thinks they know me ;D ) I would really like to keep my anonomity on this website. -Yiddle You're a frum male who lives on planet earth. Hope I haven't narrowed it down too much! ;D
	Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'! Last Edit: by breakfrie.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 27 Dec 2009 23:01 #38684

silentbattle
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I just voted 2 (happy), with the caveat from before

Shemirat Einayim - I think that's a question for a rebbe (or Guard), but my feeling would be that you can show sensitivity and understanding withotu them knowing that you have this issue. I don't think that makes you a fraud, you're not trying to claim that you're perfect (I hope).

And you can let them know that ultimately, these are taivos that everyone has. That's a gemara!

Last Edit: by AnonStruggle.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 00:08 #38716

shemirateinayim
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As far as hadracha, chayacha kodmim. so the decision is a RESOUNDING NO! It would ruin my reputation and wreck my chances in shidduchim. And i can't help someone deal with this issue without being honest and open. why should he feel he's the pervert, and i'm the holy spirit that never typed a dirty word into the search engine? I'm too open and honest, it's my personality. And that's part of the success i've had helping people in their avodas hashem. I speak devarim hayotzim min halev, even if I'm merely quoting a sefer, i still fuel it with genuine emotion.

I once opened up to a younger kid b4, he's my 'addopted little brother' (to him I am an adopted father figure). And after a half hour of him feeling live a total pervert, human filth... i told him that he's merely human, and I've been there too. So experience has shown, you can't help people in avodas hashem without being real!

let's face it. Emes sells. "Sheker Ain Lo Raglayim" evolution, ______ism, democracy, cults, they all undo themselves after some time. Because they're SHEKER. you can't be mekareiv any yid to avodas hashem through sheker. he can see, or more accurately, feel right through it! Emes, on the other hand, even if it won't sell itself instantly, eventually (even if by process of elimination) it will persevere, and overcome. We have to be Emesdik with people, if we wamt to save them.

.....and thus the great value of anonymity!!!!

Last Edit: 28 Dec 2009 13:46 by momokiy.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 00:20 #38719

Ineedhelp!!
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Kedusha wrote on 27 Dec 2009 22:51:

Yiddle2 wrote on 27 Dec 2009 21:58:

I voted a no-go. It would be too weird. If I knew someone I wouldnt tell that I know them, I hope they would do the same for me (thats a message for anyone out there who thinks they know me ;D ) I would really like to keep my anonomity on this website.

-Yiddle

You're a frum male who lives on planet earth. Hope I haven't narrowed it down too much! ;D

You got me Kedusha! But i think I saw someone with light radiating from hi body the other day. He just screamed "KEDUSHA" to me. So it seems we really know each other!

-Yiddle

Last Edit: by Chaimkanievsky.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 02:30 #38764

BecomeHoly Current streak: 28 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 262 Karma: 0	I chose 3. Because I won't deny the fact that I felt I needed help in this area... in fact I'd pride myself on making that step and looking for help. However, its not for public consumption. Until I'm married, I'm not gonna risk it... (yes my wife will know...I actually almost married an addict... broke it off for other reasons...).
	Last Edit: by sizzy.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 02:43 #38774

NotAlone Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 51 Karma: 0	I chose 1. Because as productive and helpful as meeting a peer in real life may be, I know I would be completely and utterly mortified.
	Last Edit: by bt5784.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 02:45 #38775

theOne OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3026 Karma: 0	i somehow agree with notAlone, though it depends who it is...
	Last Edit: by absolute.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 03:28 #38777

TrYiNg	Of course mortified would be the first reaction. Though if it's a close friend, who is going through the same thing it would be a huge relief. I worry about the anonymous guests who are simply looking in, as I dont know their story or intentions. Ditto mom. I'm actually paranoid about it
	Last Edit: by wanttoimprove32.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 03:57 #38778

kedusha
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Yiddle2 wrote on 28 Dec 2009 00:20:

Kedusha wrote on 27 Dec 2009 22:51:

Yiddle2 wrote on 27 Dec 2009 21:58:

You're a frum male who lives on planet earth. Hope I haven't narrowed it down too much! ;D

You got me Kedusha! But i think I saw someone with light radiating from his body the other day. He just screamed "KEDUSHA" to me. So it seems we really know each other!

-Yiddle

The pleasure is mine!

Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!

Last Edit: by kitovhashem.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 04:54 #38787

silentbattle
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Shemirateinayim - I agree that sheker is bad. But too much emes can be sheker, too (as in, causing them to focus on the wrong things, and ending up with a skewed picture of who you are).

Like I said, you shouldn't try to pass yourself off as perfectly holy. But including details can hurt. My 10th grade rebbe used to say that everyone has to work on this issue - himself included. Presumably, that meant, like your username, his shemiras einayim. But the point was, that he understood our nisayon, even if it was different, and maybe more extreme for us. He also faced challenges in the area of taivas nashim, and without going into details, he was quietly admitting to us that he wasn't perfect.

More detail than that is taking your need for honesty, and going to far with it, possibly to an unhealthy level.

Last Edit: by jrosenberg566.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 07:35 #38831

habaletaher
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I vote a total NO! While there are some people I wouldn't mind knowing and if anything they might be able to help me... but the fact is (and this had been demonstrated in a variety of Ploni Anonymous programs for frum people) that frum people often don't know how to maintain confidentiality, and b4 you know it single ppl on this site suddenly find it harder to get shidduchim, married people have a hard time getting their kids into schools... it's not pretty. And kal vachomer if someone already has a position in klei kodesh, something might leak and they could lose their job (or a Kollel Guy could get kicked out of his kolle

)

While I wish we were able to be able to have more recognition of one another, and provide that extra layer of protection, I don't think we are realistically holding there just yet..

If we find out about whether a kid went to a resource room for help reading in 3rd grade when determining whether we can let them go our with our child, imagine if we found out that they had a p#$n problem or even used to and are now clean for 200 days....

"Listen, he's really a great guy. He learns real well, but if you perhaps could refill my shotglass with some of that Woodford, I do know something about this boy that might interest you..."

Last Edit: by yoka.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 08:19 #38843

Ineedhelp!!
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silentbattle wrote on 28 Dec 2009 04:54:

Shemirateinayim - I agree that sheker is bad. But too much emes can be sheker, too (as in, causing them to focus on the wrong things, and ending up with a skewed picture of who you are).

I just learned something like from a Rebbe of mine. He quoted a Rav i forgot which one. He gave a Mashal that theres a guy whos the greatest philosipher and he never tells a lie. The most honest person put there. And theres a guy whos running away from someone trying to kill him. The guy runs into the philosipoher's house and hides under his bed. The killer comes into the house and asks the philosipher where the man is. The philosipher never lies so he says he under the bed. I think its Reb Yeruchum Levovitz who says that this guy is the biggest Shakran. Even though he actually told the truth, this guy is a Shakran.

Good job being Mechavein to Reb Yeruchum Shemirat!

-Yiddle

Last Edit: by yuvalbarad.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 10:53 #38858

Kollel Guy

Yiddle2 wrote on 28 Dec 2009 08:19:

silentbattle wrote on 28 Dec 2009 04:54:

Shemirateinayim - I agree that sheker is bad. But too much emes can be sheker, too (as in, causing them to focus on the wrong things, and ending up with a skewed picture of who you are).

This is awesome.

Last Edit: by sal123.

Re: [POLL] How would you react to being recognized here by someone in real life? 28 Dec 2009 12:54 #38894

the.guard
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shemirateinayim wrote on 27 Dec 2009 21:55:

here's the real dilemma: I'm in the position of helping a handful of teenagers who are all undoubtably, and admittably addicted to their ipod touches, and the occasional laptop. hey i can't blame them, their parents where dumb enough to 'trust' them with it, and hey! so where mine!!!

the question is whether to confide in this to any of them. I'm not a fraud, so i can't help them without admitting my involvement too. plus, how else can i know all the tricks of the trade. But on the other hand I'm not interested in them blabbing to the world that I'm cool cuz i watch p#$ . That's not why i want them to relate to me! So i'm in a dilemma about it. the only thing i did about it was mentioning, in a neutral way, that i can help them break addcitions... and if they want their addictions, i can help them not want it.

if GUARD made a 'information pachet' that could simply be mailed to the yeshiva office, it would be an easy way of getting these kids involved with the site, or the cure. How about it? i know you are overworked, and put all of your heart and soul into this. how about making a printable collection of the handbook, 12 steps, how the 12 steps isn't kefirah, 'reality check' (how rampant internet misuse really is), and a letter adressed to the mashgiach ruchani that will get the point across, and get him on-board in DEALING with the issue. oh yeh, and make a collection of the 'best' stories, in case he doesn't check the site himself.

I made a note of your "Info Packet" idea in my GYE-To-Do-List... One day, with enough time, man power and funds, we'll get to all these great ideas, be"h... On His time-table.

As far as these boys you are helping, don't tell them you struggled yourself, simply share with them the handbooks and read through parts of BOTH handbooks with them... Tell them that every teen-ager today needs to know the info in these handbooks... If they ask about your own struggle, you can "smooth over" the question and imply that you have been tested in the past (who hasn't?) - and you know many people ho have fallen into this, and that GYE and the handbooks has helped a lot... But don't get into any major detail. That's my opinion.

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Last Edit: by jamerww1111.