I recently came across some short autobiographical stories of p**n actresses (and even actors). The following is a behind the scenes look at what goes on. Degradation, drugs (both on the set to get through the scene and off the set), abuse (particularly in childhood), depression, empty and shattered lives. It's standard fare, and this is one of the more tame examples.

So next time you feel like looking at some of that stuff, just remember that you're getting a finished product that is nothing but a lie. It's all smoke and mirrors elegantly designed to cover up the pain and the horrors that really go on.

You would also be contributing to someone's ruin (not just yours). Since you're nice guys, you wouldn't want to ruin someone's entire life, right?  

Right?




I started in the porn industry back in 2003 when I was 19. It started with me doing a little nude modeling here and there, then it progressed into internet work and then I met an "agent". It all went downhill from there. The money was great for a 19 year old! But I didn't enjoy being on set and feeling degraded.

I loved the attention from everyone but now that I look back, that's not the kind of attention I deserved. But, I was young, naive, motivated by the money and the "fame". It was easy for an agent to take advantage of me, and many did.

Over the course of my porn career I have been belittled and treated like a piece of trash more than I could have ever imagined in a lifetime I would. I wasn't a woman in any of these directors eyes, I was nothing to them. The male talent at times were nice, but sometimes, they were horrible. I've had men choke me, slap me, thrust me so hard until I couldn't walk and this would happen even after I would tell them to stop. They have no respect for women.

There were always drugs and we would binge on Ecstasy, Cocaine, Marijuana, Valium, Vicodin and alcohol. I thank God I am even still here! I also did "escorting" in the porn industry for agencies where we were sent to Las Vegas to do "privates". I also know agents who lie to the girls and tell them they are shooting a scene when instead they set up prostitution acts for them.

I have cried and screamed and almost lost it at times because of this horrible industry. I have now been on Lexapro since January because I dropped to 85 lbs and it was from all the stress and anxiety from this business. I am now back up to 103 lbs and feeling better, but it's going to be a long time until I fully recover. It sucks you in and is hard to get out, but once you do get out... it's the greatest feeling ever. Although it's an extremely difficult and uphill battle, I know I'll be okay. The industry is infected with drugs and disease. I have had multiple tests come back positive for Chlamydia and gonorrhea. My so-called friends and ex introduced me to a variety of drugs and we were on a 6 month binge. All my money went to partying and my car got repoed, I got evicted, had run-ins with the police, almost lost my contract and lost touch with my family. I almost always had to be "messed up" on set to get through it. I look back and it makes me sick because that is not the person my dad raised me to be.

I am so grateful for my son because I got pregnant and that's what made me stop partying! I was in a relationship with a Kris Slater who is also in the industry and I thought everything was great until he started getting really controlling and abusing me. He would choke me, throw me around and verbally abuse me. I thought things would get better but it continued for 3 years. I had him arrested twice and the second time, this last February was the last time I was ever going to let him do that again. He threw chairs at our son and I was not going to let anything happen to him. There is now a restraining order and I have temporary full custody and am going to fight until the end for my son to have a loving and peaceful upbringing.

My worst scene I have ever been through was the one I did when I was pregnant. That is going to be the hardest thing for me to get over. It makes me so mad that the father of my baby and ex Kris Slater would even support that and let me do it. He should have been a man and helped out!

Although, I'm very angry and hurt, I am finally learning to love again and let someone into my life after being numb for so long. When I was shooting I was blocking all emotion and it was effecting my personal relationships with everyone. I had no "real" sex life and was showed no affection because I was used to doing the motions of something fake.

wow. powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing that (and making sure there was nothing too explicit in there). I'm sure that'll help shake up some of our perception of these fake and disgusting virtual-pleasure cesspools.

Bruce, you da man!

So how's it going in the bat cave?

Heartbreaking

I've read much worse, but I don't think I can post it here. Multiple accounts that I've read claim that around 90% of the girls are on drugs, often during the shoot. Weed, meth, crack, whatever. They get diseases. They're abused, tricked, and used by their producers. Their lives are completely empty. Some have killed themselves as an escape.

So, while she may look like she loves what she does, and even say it all the time, it just isn't true. Inside that shell, there's a human being who wants out.

real powerful. I always wondered what goes on with these actors. What about the men, are they also products of abuse?

I don't know because I haven't read much about men, but I would bet that the rate of childhood abuse/neglect in the men is much lower than it is with the women. We operate totally differently from the way women do. I would guess that childhood delinquency is higher among men because you have to be kind of callous to just have emotionless sex with a bunch of mentally and emotionally broken women for the money.

It's taking advantage of the female desire to be wanted for her beauty and loved and accepted by men, and it works especially well the younger they are (read: 18 year old kid from a broken home, practically homeless with nowhere to go). I mean, if a girl finds me unattractive and even tells me so, I wouldn't really care. Even if I did, I'd be over it in about 2 nanoseconds. But tell a girl she's ugly or fat or whatever and it hurts them.
Of course, many of them are stuck in the business because they have no skills that they can apply to regular jobs, and it pays well (more than the men, because as you can imagine there's no shortage of them). It's a vicious cycle.

thanks, your info really takes away the pleasure. Why would one want to observe such pitiful human beings who are really suffering

that's pretty much the point.


seems like some of my post didn't make it for some reason.

Was it edited? Guard? Maybe I just messed it up?

Basically I was saying before the second paragraph that producers woo the women into it by taking advantage of the desire to be acknowledged for their beauty. A lot of times they'll start them off doing innocent modeling and slowly get them into worse stuff by telling them how special they are, how much everyone would like it, etc. No way those tactics would work for men. I'm special? I'm attractive? OK, that's nice that you think so but I would rather eat a tasty burger than listen to that mushy drivel....

The men who get into it, I would guess, aren't so much wooed into it as they are driven by the male instinct to conquer, combined with a pretty messed up outlook on life.

Bottom line is that these people aren't really that different from your typical hollywood stars in many ways. They lead empty lives of nothingness. The only difference is that many of them are broken inside.

Why are Hollywood stars so sad and unfulfilled? is it because acting is a profession based on nothingness. In other words, entertainment is basically a waste of time so those doing it are really nonproductive. Or is it because they themselves have no personal values to life and thus their personal lives are worthless. Is it their professional lives that are ruinous or is it their personal? This might not have to do with the goal of the forum except that we are talking about avoiding nonkosher entertainment a.k.a. the media, that causes so many to stray off the path and get exposed to all the trash that is out there

Obviously not all of them are that way.

Probably because they have tons of money, don't have to work, have almost no responsibilities,  and live in fake-land all the time. They're shells that pretend to be other things and there's nothing inside.

Just my guess.

Mr .  Wayne sir,
this info is extremely helpful for me and i'm sure for others . I heard about this idea running around but i have no access to it . if there is any more, digusting,  sad ,depressing, degrading details you can write that are clean enuf for us to hear , it would make a tremendous difference for me . fantasy is my whole problem . what you wrote already helped me  , but the more i see these people as sad used people the less i want to be a part of it . thank you very much.
36

THIS THREAD MUST GO ON.

For obvious reasons, any identifying information or anything that can serve as a potential trigger will be edited.




The following is one part of several.


Tune in daily to remind yourselves of the suffering you've been fooled into enjoying and promoting. Same Bat time, same Bat channel.



PART 1

I started in the industry when I was 19. I first started because I needed money. I was on my own and I did not know where to go for money. I needed it quick or I was going to lose my room in an apartment. I found an ad in the L.A. Weekly for girls to make money fast. I called it up and a man asked me to go and meet him at his apartment in Santa Monica. I went and met him and 10 minutes later, I'm doing my first movie. I went back a couple times and did movies with him. He soon offered me a job in his office being an Assistant. I worked doing talent, paperwork and cutting movies, sometimes making movies if the talent did not show up. So you could say I was living a semi regular life. But still hurting my spirit at times. It came to a point where I was tired of the job and I wanted to be talent in the industry just not for the website. I got attracted to the attention and the money girls were getting. I wanted that too. The nice clothes a better car. Something about being a porn star seemed glamorous. Boy was I wrong!

My boss tried to warn me about getting deeper in the industry. A girl even committed suicide around that time. She was depressed because of her life in the industry and killed herself. I still left my job and went toward becoming a porn star. I called a company called [edit] to try to do my first movie. They booked me right away. I remember being excited. And I also remember them letting me shoot without a full panel STD test. I had my HIV but not STD's. I did the scene and got through it. I then had to go take a full panel test so I could shoot more. I found out 2 days later that I had caught gonorrhea in my first scene!

really frightening but how many posts like this are needed to get the point. I would like others posting here to tell us how much its helping them. Is there anyone out there addicted to p---- and this is helping them stop?

As many posts as I feel like putting up.

I don't care if nobody else gets anything from this, because I do.

BTW, this won't make anyone stop. All it can do is make them think twice before they help ruin someone else's life in addition to their own.

I think it is very helpful bruce. Pls continue. My addiction convinces me that all these ppl must be realy happy..