i have been told by many people and by rabbis and therapists that for a girl to hear about this, is like her telling you that she used to be a heroin addict. its just such a shock to her system. even though its obvious that its not so unnormal. i mean that had an asifah in city field bec of these things. but its too much for them to handle.
on the other hand. i feel that i want to start off honestly. also i want her to be able to understand me. and this is a part of understanding me, bec its a hugh part of my struggle.

Welcome Mr. Joe! Nice to meet you!

Before we advise you whether or not to tell your date about your struggles with lust, why don't you tell US about your struggles. After all, I would never agree to marry you either way!!!

Seriously, tell us about yourself. Like, how long have you had these issues? Have you ever been able to stop? What strategies have you tried in the past? What has (or has not) worked for you?

Keep us updated. Don't be a stranger.

I don't think you should say the word "addiction," maybe tell her that you have struggles at times with shmiras einayim. Just not on the first date, please.

I was too quick to answer, it's too tough a question. It probably depends on the particulars of each situation.

I am a bachor. This question was posed to Rabbi Twerski and he said that he felt you must share it with her after you are serious (links below). A while back I was dating someone a number of times and, with MUCH hesitation I told her. She was shocked and appalled. I asked that she talk to a Rav about it, which she did and she continued to date me.

(There was no happy ending I broke up with her myself at a later point)

This is a very hard one. I told claim to have the answers. I am sharing what I once did. I do not know how I had the courage to do that and do not know I could do it again.

I will pose a question to you:

What if she catches you after two weeks of marriage? what will that do to her system? What about after ten years and she realizes it has been going on for years?

here are some links on the site about this:

Do I have to tell my date about my "past" addiction?
www.guardureyes.com/GUE/RTwerski/Dating.asp

When Can I Start Dating?
www.guardureyes.com/GUE/RTwerski/startDating.asp

Dating as an Addict
guardyoureyes.com/articles/rabbi-twerski/item/dating-as-an-adict

Dating Experience
guardyoureyes.com/articles/testimonials/item/dating-experience