10/10/10 Wow, what a cool date. Here is what I learned today. I shouldn’t view the urge to mastur-ate as something evil. It’s a totally natural urge which comes from a section in my brain that seeks to have pleasure at all times. I should not feel guily if I have lust rather I should reframe lust into positive self talk.
So tomorrow, work on your self talk. Don’t say oh, I see an attractive person and now I’m going to grapple with this evil urge called taivas nashim. Rather, say to yourself I’m glad that I am healthy and that Hashme implanted a natural urge inside me. Now I have a job to do. I am to take this urge and be happy about it. I should tell myself positive things such as: This natural desire can lead to a certain behavior. I am going to be the one to choose what behavior that is based on what I know is the right thing to do. I have accpepted this desire and I ask Hashem to help me make the right choice.
But don't put the prerssure on me. It’s not about me controlling the taiva because the yeitzer harah is a lot stronger. Rather it’s about letting go and saying Hashem will take care of me. All I am in charge of is to show Hashem that I want His help and that I show myself how much I want to stay clean. Just work on your ratzon and put it in the right direction and the results will follow in a positive way.