Hello,

I wanted to maintain a daily pe'ulah to be michazeik myself on a daily basis to avoid ***tur*ation and looking at improper videos or images.  Writing on this forum every day will hopefully keep me honest and allow me to track my growth.  You see, I have been fighting avoiding *astur*ation for eight years and I believe the most crucial way to stop *astur*ation is to constantly remind yourself how much you don't want to do it.

Today I davened to Hashem that He should help me keep to my daily chizuk plan and help me keep my eyes and machshavos clean.  I read day two of "Windows of the Soul" and I read a wonderful small piece of mussar that says that humility and putting onself in Hashem's hands is the best prevention of aveira in this area of life. 

Thanks for reading this post as day two of my personal, public diary on my way to recovery.
I have had 3 proud streaks of over 25 days in the past three months, however, this time I want to go all the way to 30!  Taking it one day at a time is all we need to do.

Hatzlacha to all!

TrueRatzon.

Sounds great, good to hear from you!

How about instead of taking it to 30, make it through today.  Tomorrow you can worry about then.  I understand the 90 days is a way to get chizuk and see that you are moving past the point of dependency.  I do not see the 90 days as my goal though.  My goal is to get rid of this addiction.  If it takes 1, 10, 30, or 90 days to get past the dependency well that is great and I will get there.  If I make it my goal to get to 90 then I am still holding on to my addiction.  Once I get there I can fall because I showed myself I am the master of it.  This is not the thinking that will get me out of this.

I guess what I am really saying is that while getting to a certain day could be a source of chizuk and perhaps a focus and help when it is tough, the real focus/goal should be on getting rid of the lust addiction, which is a goal each day and moment.

Dear Forum,

Being that I would like to post everyday to keep myself honest I want to try not to take up a new post each day so I'm trying to stay within this post for a while. 

Today I can sum up two things that I have learned.  Firstly, a person should never be despaired and feel that his past aveiros will hinder his opportunity to come back to Hashem.  Hashem wants every person to do teshuvah no matter how many times he's fallen in the past. 
Secondly, I learned that the progression of the taiva of nashim is 97% lust and 3% pleasure.  Once the pleasure comes it only lasts a very short time and then you feel empty and defeated when it's over.  The key is to always have an awareness of the nisayon and realize the emptiness of giving into taiva and the fullness of saying no! 

Thanks for reading and may we all continue to fight one day at a time and work on getting rid of this addiction!

TrueRatzon.

Hi david712,

If I counted the zeros correctly that's amazing what you did. wow!  Something like that could probably motivate me to put ****urba*ion to rest.  Anyhow the goal here is to eridicate this terrible behavior which I am glad to be open about on this forum.  It's very uplifting and helpful that people read and respond to posts.  Thanks for being there. 

TueRatzon

Today is day #4 on my road to recovery.  It's very rewarding to be keeping this up and I truly hope this time around I will get it right and stop ****urb**on for good, with the help of this forum and mussar.

Briefly, I learned two things today.  Number one: each time you are kadosh you are fulfilling a mitzvah that Hashem directly commanded each Jew to keep, i.e. be kadosh.  This is a great motivating factor because the Creator of the entire universe wants me and you to be kadosh! 
Number two: it's so important to keep this fight a battle of the mind and not the heart.  We should try to limit our exposure to things that get our hearts and emotions into fulfilling se*ual desires. 
Hopefully remembering that Hashem has commanded us to be holy and trying to keep our hearts healthy, we will keep going up the ladder to recovery!

TrueRatzon.

Dear members of this forum,

A gutten erev shabbos to all.  Today is my fifth day in a row keeping my word to post everyday on this site as a motivator to keep my streak alive. 
Being that it's erev shabbos there's not so much time to post and fortunately, the kedusha of shabbos tends to hold the taiva for nashim in check.

Anyhow, two quick things. 
1.) I am mature adult who can say no to the child within me.
2.) Our neshamos are brightly burning aflame, if we pour water on them - by seeing improper things we can chas v'shalom lessen our flame.
Let us be zoche this Shabbos to kindle our neshamos with the aura of Shabbos, the davening we do on shabbos, the learning we do on shabbos and the wholesome family interactions we have on shabbos.

TrueRatzon, getting stronger each day by the way!

Amen! Thanks for the beracha , and keep up your good work

A gut vocht to all,

A word to our friends out there:consistency is so important in life and in this battle.  I truly believe that keeping something up every day can really help me go a long way.  That's why I'm continuing to sit by the computer day in and day out even on a short motzei shabbos and I am cranking out another post.
Tonight after shabbos I learned in day six of "windows of the soul" that it's important to stay motivated to learn torah on a daily basis and set some time to focus on learning mussar to quell the yetzer harah. 
May we all be zoche to keep up our respective good work and feel and become stronger each day! 

TrueRatzon.

Dear forum,

Well if I make it through today that's seven days clean and seven days posting in a row!

So what did I learn today as a I took time out of a busy Sunday afternoon?
I learned that there are four major halachos in shmiras einaiyim.
  1.) Assur to look at non - tznius woman
  2.) Assur to walk in an area that is not tznius
  3.) Assur to have improper machshavos about women
  4.) Assur to recieve hana'ah from looking at an woman
I also learned that a person can utilize tefilah and ask Hashem to help save him when he's feeling weak.

May we be zoche to continue working on ourselves and grow each day, especially during sefirah.

TrueRatzon.

Hello to all,

Last night proved how important it is for me to keep posting on this forum.  I ended being caught in a murky swamp of taiva and was literally one milisecond away from ma***urb*ting then it hit me.  Wait a second, I've been posting on the forum "What Works for Me" for the past week telling everyone how confident I am that I will not give in and I will be clean!  Stop! You have to honest! You have to keep up your streak so you can keep posting on the forum and give cizuk to yourself and others.  Great! Now I escaped from the tight grip of the taiva for *astu**ation.

Today I learned that even Shlomo HaMelech grappled with taivas hanashim.  I also learned that a person shoudln't say, well I'm feeling weak now anyway, so I may as well fight another time and give in now.  No!  Each time the taiva comes is a new opportunity to say no.  We should pride ourselves to say no even if was a no that we said to not look at a non tznius girl in the street.
May we all continue to grow in Ahavas and Yira'as Hashem.
Have a great evening!

TrueRatzon

Shalom Aleichem all,

I'm finding that posting everyday really helps to inject me with inspiration to keep moving forward.  Even though I had to shlep home today from Yeshiva for only one evening I decided to bring my computer with me from yeshiva to my house so that I wouldn't miss a single day of posting.  The only forseeable day I plan to miss is the first day of Shavuos. 
Anyhow today I learned two things:
  1.) It's important to calmly identify when taiva comes in and realize that my seichel can be
      applied to combat the taiva.
  2.) Fighting for kedusha is the mitzvah of our generation and there really shouldn't be a day or
      even a half a day without contemplating the magnitude of the nisayon and thinking of ways
        to win.

May we all be zoche to win today - Tuesday April 27, 2010!

TrueRatzon