Not sure if this is the proper place or site for such a thread but here goes.
Some of us in GYE have OCD.
Some are B'chasdei Hashem in a very manageable mode and are even thriving. 
Some are working hard to help themselves.
And some might be suffering without help.
Ive suffered from OCD in the past and what helped was when I started to really spiral, I caught it early (with the help of others) and an excellent therapist 
After exposure therapy and mindfulness techniques, I was doing much better, even great. I have flare ups from time to time, but BH, nothing major.

So why is this thread here?

Several reasons:

1) For some, (many?) anxiety and OCD can be a trigger for P and/or M. The chat can be a helpful support system. 
2) There is no such platform in the frum community for those struggling with OCD - this is sort of piggybacking on GYE, but reason 1 still stands...

1 rule.
PLEASE DO NOT POST advice unless you are a therapist (With knowledge of OCD on a practical level) or you are someone that has suffered/is suffering with OCD. This is just meant to prevent well meaning individuals from posting things that are not practical or even hurtful. (Sympathy and "thank yous" are welcome from all!!)

Thanks Fighterwithfire for the inspiration for this and YitzchokM for pushing the idea.

Two important points.

Posting and getting support is awesome and I feel it was super hard for me because I didnt have that - but there is no substitute for actual therapy. OCD isn't solved in a support group, if you have it or people near and dear are begging or threatening you to get help - DO THAT ASAP. This is just to compliment actual therapy

This thread's success is going to be based on the feedback and responses. If its active, it can be great. If not - it could be a DOA. If you want it badly, respond and let's make it happen. It's truly astonishing that we dont have a frum support system for OCD...

maybe this can help.

Thank you for this thread, I think it's a great idea. I suffer from OCD mainley pertaining to yiddishkiet and olam habah, right now it's in a pretty good place, but I do get large flare ups sometimes.

Thanks, for the feedback.

Please excuse if I ask some basic questions, to be clear and for myself or others to offer support.
1. Do you know you have OCD from yourself or a professional?
2. Have you been or are you in therapy?
3. Does this trigger P & M as an escapist activity?

Thank you and you ahould have tremendous success.

Hi

I discovered that I had OCD (or atleast obsessional doubt) a few months ago. It was with a professional. It most certainly did exacerbate my need for an escape. But BH with a lot of work and with the help of a therapist I managed to get it under control.

meshivasnofesh wrote on 17 Jun 2025 06:35:

I a not officially diagnosed with OCD, but I live with alot of obsessional doubt in my thoughts. The effect this has is to push me towards depression and negativity. In the past, I used P and M as a pacifier in these states.

alex94 wrote on 17 Jun 2025 10:19:

The general directive I was told by my therapist was that if it is disturbing your basic functioning in life (even if you are able to hide it from others) it is time to seek help. Think if you can remain calm and not have a strong feeling of anxiety eating away at you for an extended activity - like learning, davening, working on a project etc. 

The way my experience went was a worry that "ate away at me" and disturbed my peace of mind. (understatement, I'm just aiming for a general description)

Even if you are not officially diagnosed (which may require a psychologist or psychiatrist,) a therapist can treat you with basic anxiety reducing therapies that are very effective. 

for me it was a paralyzing and physically weakening anxiety. i could not function normally. I had no option but to seek help. i would not have been able to get it under control without a therapist. 
thank you for initiating this thread, its gr8 to see that im not the only one. i would be glad to chat. healingdolphin613@gmail.com

I suffered terribly from OCD after I got married pertaining to the halachas of family purity, as well as general marriage anxieties, such as whether I was permitted to be married and if the kiddushin was valid. This was compounded by a misplaced and immature sense of kedusha. While I had issues with OCD before marriage, it intensified significantly after I got married. Every time my wife counted and went to the mikvah, it was sheer terror for me.

This had a severe, negative effect on our relationship. Every time we were together, it was fraught with extreme anxiety. The Rav I was in contact with at the time had no understanding of my condition and unfortunately made things worse by frightening me even more. I am incredibly lucky that my wife stood by me during those turbulent times. It took about two years for my healing to begin. I'm not entirely sure how, but things eventually calmed down.

However, the experience left a lasting stain. I still resent the fact that I didn't have a normal start to married life. This also contributed to my struggles with lust; once the dam of my anxieties broke, a sense of apathy took over, and I went to the other extreme.

I was never officially diagnosed but I don't doubt that I suffered from at times paralyzing anxiety and doubts. I broke my longest streak of over a year  during my first encounter with these extreme anxiety feelings.  I'm definitely not a therapist but you said as long as you suffered you can offer advice so ill just say that what finally worked for me was acceptance. Tell yourself you accept everything even the anxiety itself. Say welcome anxiety so glad your here. Oh your afraid of fill in the blank? Yes that's definitely very possible your right that blankblankblank might be true or might happen. I'm just fine with the thought of that lurking in my mind I don't need you to leave.. whatever you get the idea.

Also another thing that helps is that sometimes (not always) it's possible to quickly switch topics in your mind, not to fight your current thought but start thinking about something else preferably that interests you. Can't say I'm perfect( and I accept that too! I accept that I may live with this to a certain extent) but I'm bh very far along after some effort with this stuff. Hatzlacha raba this is a really hard fight but I really believe you can get past it

yours truly jwbf

trueme wrote on 15 Jun 2025 20:10:

I am in therapy, the therapist has a masters not a PhD so he can't officially diagnose OCD, but it's quite obvious. There was a time when we were considering medication and an official diagnosis, but thanks to therapy and SA it's mostly under control without it. Of course it triggers porn and masturbation I think that is true for anyone who suffers from OCD and/or anxiety and is also on this forum.

BTW many who get sober in SA report that after getting sober for a time they start to get anxiety and OCD which they never had before, or previous anxiety just gets worse (this was definitely true with me). Sometimes this causes people to go back to acting out. The reason for this is simple, when we are often masturbating, we are constantly medicating our brains with dopamine and we have no way to feel our anxieties. Once we begin to sober up and stop numbing our feelings withdrawal symptoms in the form of insane anxiety creep in. Sometimes we just have to give it time (a couple of days or even weeks), others require therapy and breathing exercises, and still some will need medication whether temporary or permanent.

justwannabefree wrote on 20 Jun 2025 22:59:

Interesting. Did you come to this idea/conclusion yourself? Thats quite remarkable. My therapist calls this exposure therapy. (The actual therapy can be more intense, not just saying "ok" to thoughts, but actually triggering the obsessive thoughts with action and sitting with the thoughts in "ok, lets say that's true mode".)

This was what worked most for me, too.

azivashacheit101 wrote on 21 Jun 2025 19:00:

That's an excellent point. I find that also sad and hard, we want to be free from anxiety and live normally and at the same time it seems like doing what Hashem hates (any form of znus) is our way out.

Another reason that getting OCD treated is so important. Otherwise P & M becomes a vicious cycle band aid.

Great point.

mggsbms wrote on 20 Jun 2025 15:56:

Wow. That's alot of pain. Obviously you are you and I am I but I think I relate to some of what you are saying. I didn't have a normal start to married life because of OCD as well and marriage was part of a major trigger that brought out my OCD, along with other factors. My lack of a normal start to marriage still burns in me today as well. The bright spot that I see for myself personally is that this is my ticket to growth. I really think of OCD survivors as incredible people. If they can conquer that than they can conquer anything. (Bs"d of course)

How did your anxieties "break"? Was it because of therapy and than it was auto replaced by apathy, which led to P & M? Or did it break by numbung yourself with P & M, which in turn led to apathy...?

Sorry I'm not undertanding that part, thanks if you want to clarify.

@ trueme. No I did not get the mehalech myself I was helped by a rebbi when I was in yeshiva. This rebbi did not claim to be a therapist but was quite knowledgeable about anxiety. I suspect that he dealt with it himself although he never told me so and I didn't wanna ask him straight out. It's interesting to hear that this mehalech worked for you as well. I don't claim to know much about exposure therapy but I thought this is a little different, although the idea might be the same. In a way its more direct. You are taking on the anxiety head on. Because the anxiety only hurts you when you can't accept what your afraid of. Hatzlacha rabba!