Today, I want to share one of my recent experiences.

For some time now, due to various personal struggles, I’ve been going through a real drop in morale. During this period, fighting the Yetzer Hara became especially difficult.

For many years—and still to some extent today—masturbation and seeking inappropriate images on the internet have been my quickest and most effective escape from problems, or a way to seek excitement to fill an inner void. This mechanism is deeply ingrained in me after nearly 20 years of addiction.

During this past week, when my morale was at its lowest, my thoughts automatically drifted toward these temptations. Without even fully realizing it, multiple times a day, I found myself searching for such images. Despite having a good filter, I still managed to find loopholes, and several times throughout the week, I started viewing inappropriate content—though I never went as far as masturbation. Thanks to this forum and with Hachem’s help, I managed to stop each time after just a few minutes.

But this morning, I woke up already feeling a strong urge. To make matters worse, I received bad news, which pushed me even further into discouragement. As I stepped into the shower, I started to stimulate myself, seeking that easy pleasure...

Then, suddenly, a phrase flashed through my mind—"I am a hero"—which is a perfect example of the wisdom of Hazal in Berakhot 10a:

"אפילו חרב חדה מונחת על צווארו של אדם אל ימנע עצמו מן הרחמים."
"Even if a sharp sword rests upon a person’s neck, he should not withhold himself from divine mercy."

Just moments before, I was completely lost, already resigned to my impending failure and thinking about how I would later share it on the forum. But suddenly, this realization hit me:

 I am a hero.
I am a Jew in the 21st century, surrounded by Tum’a and Pritzut. And yet, every day, I wake up, I pray to Hachem, I study Torah, I raise my children in a Torah-filled home, I uphold the laws of Taharat Hamishpacha with my wife, I eat kosher, I keep Shabbat, I strive to guard my mouth and ears from Lashon Hara… I am a hero!

How did the Yetzer Hara manage to convince me that, when it comes to this particular sin, I was doomed to fail? That I could bypass it whenever I wanted for my own pleasure? That after all, "this is just who I am", "I am weak", and "there’s nothing I can do about it"?

(I want to be clear: this is not Ga'ava.. Of course, we are all different, and of course, sometimes I succeed in resisting the Yetzer Hara, and sometimes I fall—like any man, I believe. But what I want to express here is that, in my mind, regarding this specific sin, I always saw myself as defeated before the battle even began. No matter how much I tried to fight it, I believed that if a strong enough urge came or if I had access to an unfiltered device, I would inevitably give in.)

But thanks to this forum, I realized that I am not alone in this battle. There are other Jews around the world who go through the same struggle and, like me, sincerely want to break free from it. And there are others who have already succeeded.

Thanks to the love and kindness of these people, I have regained hope.
Thanks to them, I have regained pride in myself.
Thanks to them, and with hachem help, this morning, I have understood that we must enter the battle as winners, like many other mitzvot that we fulfill every day.not as losers, against the Yetzer Hara.

 We are heroes. Let’s never let the Yetzer Hara convince us otherwise.