Hi there all my friends and brothers, holy comrades at GYE! I'd like to share a thought I heard from a rebbe of mine, not the nameless one that nobody knows who he is There was a period of time that I had very difficult nisyoinois as far as masturbation is concerned, and I reached out to my rebbe. As my wife was expecting at the time he told me, "you know Eerie, beH your wife will give birth to a healthy child. And you will do all you can to raise that child in the way of the Torah. You'll invest whatever it takes so that this child and all your children grow in Torah, yiras shomayim, middos Toivois. If it will cost you koichois and tons of money, you'll do it happily. And we all know how much Rachmim we need to raise ehriliche children these days. So think of it this way. Every drop of Kedusha that you gain by withholding from doing what you shouldn't is an investment into the Kedusha of your child. Every time you have a nisayoin and you say no, you are building a Neshama kedoisha for yourself and for your child " This thought really helped me.
I was thinking about this recently, and I wondered, what is the secret behind this thought. I think the answer is that we tend to think of all of our nisyoinois as an exercise in negativity. We think that when we hold back from looking, doing, saying, we are only not destroying, we are only not doing something wrong. And then we don't get the feeling that we are accomplishing, that we have grown, so when the YH brings a big test, we don't have the inner strength to fight, for which the "feel-good" feeing is so essential. But when we realize that every holding back from doing something wrong, every time we don't look where we shouldn't, really it is an exercise in positivity, we have not only not destroyed, we have built! When we have a test, and we don't give in, ישב ולא עבר עבירה נותנים לו שכר כעושה מצוה  is not only about the s'char, it's about the accomplishment! When we guard ourselves we are building our Neshamois, our marriages, our children's Neshamois, we are building a makom Kadoish where Hashem feels comfortable resting His Shechina. If we keep reminding ourselves that every day clean is an edifice, a spiritual edifice that gives dividends in this world and the next, that will give us strength, that will give us the inner mettle to stand strong and break free B'ezras Hashem

wow I feel like i just heard this idea recently!! from some guy on the phone...havent the faintest clue who it was.....

The Sefer Chassidim writes (ois 495- I know I'm not so good with gematria, so I hope I got it right;)) "Any pain that a person suffers by closing his eyes to prevent them from seeing improper things brings goodness for his children"
Thank you to my friend 'Trying the Best' for sharing

Great stuff that give chizuk.

From feeling missing out you start feeling I'm gaining.

Keep on sharing

you were Michaven to Hillel S. in his book "The Battle of The Generation" in one of the first chapters he discusses the proper healthy positive outlook on the successes in this challenge. Definitely a book worth reading in order to develop a nondepressing, and even very positive approach to our challenge! ע׳׳ש 



​guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

In the excellent sefer v'haer eineinu he makes this point as well, bringing it from Rav Dessler as well as R' Chaim Friedlander
who expounds on his Rebbi's point