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Is there a way out of our struggles?
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TOPIC: Is there a way out of our struggles? 244 Views

Is there a way out of our struggles? 22 Jun 2022 14:25 #382259

  • yechielmichel
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someone PM'ed me:

Is there a way out of our strugglesIt's to hardI cant anymore

I'd like to reply publicly so hopefully this can benefit more people:

I understand that's how it feels: it feels to hard, like it's an impossible fight.

However, this is not the Truth. The truth is אין הקב"ה בא בטרוניא אם בריותיו. The truth is לפום גמלא שיחנא

So if you have a nisayon it is 100% possible to overcome.

It might be just a matter of finding the right path.
That might mean finding the right mindset.
It might mean stopping to do certain things that end up making the struggle more difficult for ourselves and being מגרה the יצר. 
It might be really wanting to stop, and keeping that in mind at all moments, even when the struggle is at the strongest.

When you come on to GYE, someone will invariably pop up on the chats asking "What's your struggle"... there is a glorification of "the struggle". We are warriors! We roll up our sleeves and get into the boxing rink with the yetzer hara!
I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a struggler. I am not interested in fighting... Yetzer, just go away. I want to live life. I want to be successful in living a life of meaning. I am not interested in being a fighter.

Also, along with this "struggler" mentality comes all the shame and dejection after a fall.

I say just stop it already... this is a taava that everyone has. It's natural. It also won't kill you if your don't indulge in it. Eventually it just goes away (I think F2F calls this Urge Surfing).
Yes, perhaps the ta'ava is made worse by the accessibility of porn.
There are also phycological hooks. We turn to this to make us feel good. Calm, relaxed validated, worthy... Recognize that for what it is. And then realize often P&M is not the best way to fulfill those needs.

These are just my thoughts, sharing my experience. It may come across harsh for someone who is not ready to hear it, and it might not fit every situation. Hope it helps someone.
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