so, I said the parenthesis in zakkah yesterday - several times. the first time, before yk actually started, I was a bit distracted and I skipped over it. heck, I never actually "did it." I mean, it was there for the taking, but for some reason I held back. I even told her about those damned parenthesis! she understood. but then once yk got rolling, and I had the opportunity to say it several more times, I actually said those words. I told God and myself that it really made little difference. yes, the frummies and the midrash quoters will spew that stuff about actual cohabitation with an idolatress, a gentile woman! and even one who is not your actual partner. I am actually reminded now that she was in fact Jewish, a bas mitzvah, and all. got called to the Torah, wow! but I reasoned that this justification crap was going too far. you think my wife would go for the technicality that there wasn't penetration!? bottom line, I was too close for comfort, I mean it was comfortable and more, but it's not a position I wanna be found in. I certainly don't wanna be caught that way, but besides that, I'd rather not even entertain that possibility, although I actually found those thoughts slipping in several times throughout the day. am I being clear? I hope so.

I'd like to make a second half post to this and that will be about the zakkah in general. why all the women, Keri, etc. talk? but I'm running outta time now. sorry for the non-capitalization. my notes app doesn't do that for some reason.