Recovery log: 10-October-2013 10:05
Until today, I had 29 or 30 days of sexual sobriety. (Yesterday I searched for inappropriate words on a website and found & looked at immodest pictures). The day before that I had been under a great amount of stress from my job and boss and thank G-d, I was able to break out of that, call someone and break out of the feelings in my head.
Unfortunately, today was not the same case. In the last hour I felt tempted by the fact that I had control over blocking or unblocking two websites that contain immodest pictures. I don’t know what caused me to act on this temptation, but I did. I unblocked the websites and went about searching immodest words, going to profiles and then searching within the profile for the most immodest pictures I could find. During this time I felt out of control. At a certain point I felt like I couldn’t stop and that I just had to masturbate. And masturbate I did.
After having masturbated, I felt really bad about what I done, so I returned the browser to block the websites, hid the control button and deleted my browsing history from the last hour.
Oh how awful I feel! I feel awful for having done what I did, for having broken new record of sobriety and for having cheated on my wife! My wife calls my fall "adultery", I don't know what to do about that, I understand her, but when I say that I'm sorry and will do my best not to do it again, she doesn't believe me one bit and gets angry at me.

Every evening when my wife comes home from work, we go over my internet browsing history log and my K9 Web Protection log. Yesterday, I told my wife what had happened, how I had accessed the website, searched and found some immodest pictures, looked at them briefly and then blocked them. She was upset with and she said that this means that I lost my sobriety record. I hoped and said that I didn’t think it had. But either way, I had acted on my temptations, urges and RID #12 and #3 feelings. Now the test is whether I should be honest with my wife upfront, when she asks me how I am or not and wait for her to come home from work.
I tried to post this in the category of "Filter Technician's forum: Looking for solutions" but I didn't have access to it.
Does anyone know how to permanently block Google Plus and Google Hangout?

Hi. It sounds as if you had already promised your wife you would get professional help (did you?) It's fascinating that she married you even though she knew you had the problem. I am guessing she was really taken with you and underestimated the problem.

Do you have children? If you don't, then I would have the following conversation with her. I would explain to her that you underestimated your problem, and that this is going to be a struggle that goes on all your life, in some form or another. You want to be fair to her, and give her the option to cut her losses now and try to marry a more perfect person (as if perfect people brought happiness.) But if she decides to stay with you she has to make up her mind that you are not perfect, and that one month you might be up and one month you might be down. You will get some kind of help, explain to her what it is, whether it's GYE partners, accountability groups, phone meetings, in-person SA, rabbi, therapist, and then after that your recovery is your business. And you will no longer review your internet activity with her, review it with your therapist etc.

If you do have children then protect her as much as you can, for their sake.

Either way, do get the "professional help."

What was the conversation with your boss that stressed you out, do you recall it?

You should go out and celebrate your clean month. A job well done.