I'm not going to write here what DID work for me because so far I don't have the answer. What I'm going to write is what didn't work for me.

Of course I'm not going to write how many time I tried because everyone here "tried" for years & nothing worked. What I'm going to write is, to by belief' very important for a lot of people, especially newcomers.

One of the things I tried is this Heilige forum. I came, shared, read shares etc. I did it in the Hebrew section where is more comfortable for me. But a lot of times I was here to read (and hear, on conference lines) what did the other guys did & I didn't. & that was sick. Very sick. I'm glad that after all there is censure here & not everything I got a chance to read but I did used this forum in a sick way. & I only realized it when I spoke to one of the members with long sobriety period.

Now I hope to be able to reconnect to this program in the right way and get better.

Sweet. Whatever I find works for me, I keep doing - and do more of it. So if I find that talking it out clearly helps me - then I do not stop at that, but talk it out even more clearly now, talk it out more clearly to more (safe) people, and talk more often, as well. Same with writing in my own hand - it always makes things clearer than they were before, always surprises me.

I cultivate these skills and tools by doing them even more.

Thanks for this topic you started here, may it help us all!

Dov, thank you for being don lekaf zechus. But maybe I wasn't clear enough. The point was that I was looking to see how other people go IN THEIR SICKNESS!! And that was sick!

Sick or not, at first I also looked around a lot on the forum, to see other people's problems.
Maybe that is also feeding the lust drug, can someone answer that, I'm just trying to be truthful with myself.
But hey, while being on GYE, I am not searching for Porn, so that is a good thing no? In fact the times used for searching are now being used for GYE 'foruming'
So 1) I am not actively looking at porn while on GYE
and 2) Maybe eventually I am learning from GYE the correct and more healthy attitude to sex, not what I have been feeding myself on for years.

צדיק גמור wrote:

What you are saying here is still not that clear. You are saying, but not saying. "looking to see how other people go in their sickness" - do you mean that you try to find out dirty behaviors that other guys do when they act out, so that you will be excited by them in your curiosity? Or do you mean to try to see what other guys use for good help to get out of trouble?

Thanks in advance for clarifying, chaver.

You got it! First option! (But not all the times, of course. just some times)

Yasher Koavh R' Yisroel for reading my mind - and for relaxing me that I'm still Tzadik Gamur.....

OK

I hope you'll post more examples of what didn't work for you.

I must admit, one of the first things I thought before officially joining (10 minutes ago) was that I would learn new methods and get new ideas to feed my addiction. That thought became... by seeing what others are doing, I'll feel better about myself. I only fall once or twice a week... (which is still terrible).

I'm here to find strength. I need to learn from people like you what I should be careful of. I don't need triggers!

It's nice to know I wasn't unique in those thoughts, by the way. Nice, meaning I'm not the only one with such thoughts. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Achievingmyname! Great name! Very deep...if I guess rightly what you mean. ("Moshe/Moshe"?)