Hi, all.
I'm up to 50 clean days today. It feels AMAZING that I've been able to get this far. I totally feel Hashem's Hand guiding me along. I believe He sees the efforts I've been putting in by hooking into some tele-conferences, calling/writing to others, going to a group once a week, and of course DAVENING.
And I must say, it's been so easy, so much more than I imagined. I mean, every so often throughout the day, bad thoughts will pop into my mind, or I'll see a photo, or a beautiful person(in my case a guy) and rather than running to the nearest private place to j/o, I've been able to quickly put it out of my mind and move on. What a great feeling. I'm even working now on a project for a model who wants me to do various things with his photos. It's probably not a great idea for me have taken on the job, but B"H, I'm doing the work and not being affected.
I know I can't rest on my laurels and let my defenses fall and create an easy target for the Yetzer Hara, but in the meantime, I'm really feeling great about this.
Thanks GYE community for your support and inspiration.
