Over the course of my struggle with lust, I have found myself worrying and agonizing about "How am I going to make it through the day? I have nothing to do, no one to talk to, no where to go, and no way of getting there!" I would spend hours agonizing over the inevitable fall that was going to happen and when the self-fulfilling prophesy was fulfilled, I felt like garbage. I would often fall again and again over the course of a vacation and would feel like a complete and utter lowlife. All of my friends would talk about what a great time they had had over the course of the break, while I would mutter about "just chilling" even though I felt like dying inside.
I cam across a book recently that I have found very useful in combating the underlying anxiety that I have been dealing with for years, which I only discovered recently was intertwined with my lust addiction. The book is entitled "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living", and I would like to share some of the ideas that he mentions and present them in a way that is applicable to us.
In one of the first chapters in the book, Carnegie talks about the idea of "Daytight Compartments". The idea is that to prevent anxiety, only focus on today; ignore the mistakes of yesterday, and don't dwell about the challenges that lie ahead. Take it slow; baby-steps, manageable portions.
One day at a time doesn't mean ignore tomorrow; be responsible and prepare for it within reason. Dwelling and agonizing over it didn't help me and it probably hasn't helped anyone. There's no way to function well today if you are staring with fear at the next date on the calender.
This idea can be carried into our battles with lust. If we focus on the falls of yesterday, we will never be able or willing to pull ourselves out of the mud. If we constantly worry about being able to prevail tomorrow, we will never be able to surmount the huge ladder that is our existence.
The only way we can overcome our is if we take it slow, only focusing on the present, and B'ezras Hashem, we will be Misgaber.
