Anyone read this book?  It's kind of good.  It was helpful to read about how the main character was learning to be a spiritual warrior in every day situations, and repeating the mantra "No ordinary moments".  And shadowing his "guru", and being subject to very uncomfortable situations and responding aggressively, resentfully, etc.  It's easy to see his deficient and weak responses.  I think if I were in training like that, trying to be a "spiritual warrior", I would be great at it!

And yet, H" is working a far greater programme for me, and I so far have lots of work to do!!!  It's so easy to see the deficiencies in others, as opposed to working my own programme!

I was davening at home this morning, trying to enter the upper realms of bliss with deep kavanot and meditations, when my wife interrupts my prayers asking where the cinnamon and brown sugar are.  Okay, I descend from my clouds of bliss to answer the mundane...  Clearly H" is testing me this morning.

I return to my prayers, once again to be interrupted by crying babies and screaming.

If I try to view all this from the perspective that Someone is orchestrating this so that I can be a peaceful/spiritual warrior, then I respond differently.  I see it as a test, a way to actually live the part and not just pretend.

Now when it comes to built-in urges, like an urge to visit a parlour, it's so much more difficult to act that spiritual warrior.  If someone else were outside me trying to tempt me, then I could fight it more easily.  but it's inside me, and I can't get outside it.  Or can I? 

I'm preaching to everyone around me the possibility of escaping from "Self" and cleaving to the Divine.  Gcd, get me there, please!!