This made me cry with regret, hope and joy. Skip to the last paragraph for a light of hope, otherwise, read it all and feel awesome. I've bolded parts that I find awesome.
"There is a form of penitence [teshuvah] that addresses itself to a particular sin or to many particular sins. The person confronts his sin face to face, and feels remorseful that he fell into the trap of sin. Slowly, he struggles to come out of it, until he is liberated from his sinful enslavement and he begins to experience a holy freedom that is most delightful to his weary self. His healing continues; rays of a benign sun bearing diving mercy, reach out to him, and a feeling of happiness grows within him. He experiences this at the same time that his heart remains broken and his spirit bowed and melancholy. Indeed this lowly feelings itself, which suits him in his condition, adds to his spiritual satisfaction and his sense of true peace. He feels himself drawing closer to the Source of Life, to the Living Gcd, who but a short time before was so remote from him. His wistful spirit recalls with joyous relief its previous inner anguish, and is filled with a feeling of gratitude. It breaks into hymn of thanksgiving... [then recite Psalms 116:7]
"There is another kind of feelings of penitence, unspecified and general. A person does not conjure up the memory of a past sin or sins, but in a general way he feels terribly depressed. He feels himself pervaded by sin; that the divine light does not shine on him; that there is nothing noble in him; that his hear is unfeeling, his moral behavior does not follow the right course, worthy of sustaining a meaningful life for a wholesome human being; that his state of education is crude, his motions stirred by dark and sinister passions that revolt him. He is ashamed of himself; he knows that Gcd is not within him, and this is his greatest misfortune, his most oppressive sin. He is embittered against himself; he can find no escape from his oppressive thoughts, which do not focus on any particular misdeeds; his whole being is as though in a torture chamber. For this stat of spiritual malaise penitence comes as the therapy from a master physician. The feeling of penitence, with an insight into its profound nature, its basis in the deepoest levels of thes oul, in the mysterious workings of nature, in all dimensions of the Torah and our religious tradition omes with all its might and streams into his soul. A sense of assurance in the healing, the general renewal that pentitence extends to all who embrace it, distills in him a spirit of grace and acceptance. He sense fulfillment of the vers "I will comfort you as the person is comforted by his mother (Yesh. 66:13)
...
"The holy spirit rings out before him like a bell, and he is given the good news that all his transgressions, the known and the unknown, have been erased, that he as been born anew as a new being, that the whole world, all realms of being, have been renewed with him, and that all things now join in a chorus of song, that the gladness of Gcd fills all creation. "Great is penitence, for it brings healing to the world, and even one individual who repents is forgive and the whole world is forgiven with him (Yoma 86a)".
