Dear group,
Are there any others out there who can offer support to the husband of a wife who is an SLA? I recently learned of the depth of her problems and would like chizuk from others who are going through or already went through some of the pain and confusion that I am going through.

Thanks

Not that savvy, What is SLA?

SLAA is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, one of a number of 12 Step sex addiction fellowships out there.

I don't know if SLAA has an Anon group but my wife is a member of S-Anon which is a 12 Step recovery group for people affected by Sexaholisim. They have a website.  As may be expected the fellowship is comprised primarily of women but there are a number of male members.

Feel free to PM for more info.

TORAHMAN,
my wife is not in slaa but maybe we can help u with ur pain anyhow.
there are many people here who have had their share in unvelievable pain, and ppl who can relate to pain in marriage as well. What's bothering you?

With all due respect Tzaddik

I don't think sharing details of his problem will be beneficial to the members of the forum as a whole.

I agree with you, I'm such an addict , I am ashamed to admit that if he personalized his issues it would be a turn on. Oye am i sick, G-D help me! :-[

i didnt meant to share THOSE issues! I meant to share the more general ones, such as the pain, or stress!
Oy!
It is not always the situation itself that hurts us as much as the pain and fear OF the situation.
tz
THAT is precisely why emunah and simcha help in even the bleakest times!

hi Torahman613 -

you said: I recently learned of the depth of her problems

not sure what this means.. but I'l tell you a story. One of the people I know, suspected his wife of being on the chats..he put some spyware on his computer, and found out he was right about his wife on the chat.

but now he was stuck -

he could not come clean and bring his new info forward, because then for sure she would never trust him again for spying on her.  And he was so "addicted" to spying on his wife - that he could not drop the spyware.

so he was stuck - and watched for more than 2 years, as his relation with his wife deteriorated and she wound up leaving him for some guy she met over the chats.

be open with ur feelings...
realize its coming from a point of pain (hers, your, both of yours, etc)

if she is attending meetings go with her - be supportive.
learn as much as you can..

ask her how you can be helpful and help her.

avoid:

criticism and complaining (to your wife. Post on gye to complain, etc)

try to find a good couples coach..

daven

dov.ii