:'( It took me 58 years to realize that I can't win this fight on my own. I guess that's a success. Lo-rd give me the strength and foresight I need to withstand my desires today. I want to walk the walk, not just t the t.

Return Again welcome, your story reminded me of the person who in his seventies discovered that the tefillin he wore all his life were had never been kosher. Upon learning this he started to dance.  The perplexed onlookers wondered aloud why are you dancing you just discovered that you've never put on kosher tefillin. To which the fellow replied. Precisely, can you imagine what would have happened had I only discovered this after I died. Now I have the opportunity to be mekayim the mitzvah properly, should I not be bisimcha. So RA, yes its taken 58 years, but dance and be besimcha because its not too late to change. I wish you a hearty welcome you've come to the right place. Just a small haorah on your thread topic. I think its fair to say we need Hashem's help every day to sober. If you keep that in mind, and take it one day at a time you will go very far.  Hatzlacha

Hi RA,  almost 65.  You bring a lifetime to us here.  Welcome. Most guys find it helps to share their story.  It helps with the isolation and secretiveness part of addiction.  Maybe we'll start an "old guys" thread.  How old would they have to be to be an old guy?  120?

haztlacha