I am not in frame of mind to write.

But just to make one request.

To stay clean today.

A one day begining.

BD

Hi bendurdayah,

Not only do we have a common name -We have a common request as well!

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

Elazar ben Durdayah

Ah! So I was right!

I remembered welcoming a new friend named Bendurdaya a few months ago. Then, when Ben Durdaya showed up after a while of not hearing the name, I didn't recognize the different spelling & assumed that he deleted his old thread and was starting afresh.


OK, then, Reb Bendurdaya, welcome back!

Remember what I wrote to you then?

BenDurdaya = Bend ur daya - change your way of thinking.

It will only change with consistency. This time please stay here. Keep posting. We need guys like you to stay around.


And get to know your namesake. Although he arrived after you, he assumed a very respectable status among us very quickly.



P.S. Can I also change my name? It seems that all nice guys choose that name!

hi  -

wow - you are at a high level - hoping for just one day.

i focus on 3 seconds at a time.. and then just keep repeating the process

dov.ii

that's exactly what reb nachman of bratslav taught; to focus all of your intention on the task in front of you!

hatzlacha,

Mordechai

Thank you EBD - that is quite a bit to take in.  With Hashem's help, over time.  Over the next week.

Yosef Hatzadik - I do remember your Notrikun on the name (comes out better with my spelling).
Not so deep down, I feel that I don't need no dumb website and group to get me out of this.  This, of course, is not any reflection on you guys.  It is a poor reflection on  me.  I think that I will come in for a bit, get lifted, and move on.  I am not an addict (my addict screams so loud).  My prayer to Hashem is that I should be able to realize the weakness of the yochid, and the greatness of the clal.  Today, and for the rest of my life.  And if I do actually get out of this in the realm of action, then may I become of the mizakei horabim, אלמדה פושעים דרכיך.  In short -  I resolve to stick around till Friday.  Through thick and through thin. 

Dov - my request for one day is at a spiritual height (sic!).  We all have our thresholds. 

MOrdechai - I have burdened my Neshama with many sheets of concealment.  Presently I am working with just one sheet, albeit a heavy one. 

Thank you all very much for your great encouragment.

BD

OK - one day down and _____ to go.

Is there a place here to have a smaller acountability/friendship group?

BD

Does anyone else realize how confusing the first few posts on this thread are now?

LOL - I was asked to change my handles as it may cause confusion.  It used to be Bendurdayah.

BA

Bira Amikta wrote on 02 Feb 2011 23:33:
One day down and zero to go. ZERO. Have you ever experienced more than today on any given day? I have not. Maybe with the help of LSD we can, but I prefer not to go there....

But seriously. It is always, "One day to go." As He tells us in the prakmatia chadosho b'chol yom (see Rashi on the S'hma if you do not know what I am referring to, but I bet you do!): "...asher ani metzav'cho hayom." We are being commanded today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow....just today. No?

Love,

Dov

Bira Amikta wrote on 02 Feb 2011 23:33:


Here is the link to the Accountability Groups Forum, which can also be found on the forum Home page.

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?board=10.0

Bira Amikta wrote on 03 Feb 2011 00:27:


Wow!

That was so considerate of you!

Just one he'arah...

I think you should of called yourself "Igra Rama"...

Bira Amikta is our playing field.  That is His plan.  I do not mean it as a denigration, rather as a statement of purpose.

BA

Bira Amikta wrote on 03 Feb 2011 00:27:

Ben Durdayah wrote on 03 Feb 2011 07:42:


WOW!

DO YOU GUYS REALIZE??

THE ONE WHO HAD THE NAME FIRST(!) IS THE ONE WHO WAS MEVATER!

Takke moiradig!

He should be matzliach to go from Bira Amikta L'Igra Rama!