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Starting again
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TOPIC: Starting again 1443 Views

Starting again 31 Jan 2011 06:52 #95025

I am new to this forum.

I have been clean for almost 7 months, then fell was clean for 34 days then fell clean for 8 days and fell again.

I need to get up and become clean again, anyone there can help me?
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Re: Starting again 31 Jan 2011 11:08 #95035

  • yesod tzadik
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Welcome rebdovid

Congratulation for taking the courage to post here. Once you are here there is no turning back.
You will soon get the official welcome pack from Reb Guard.

I can relate to your problem. That’s the vicious circle. What I have learned from this site is that being sober/clean without a program like the 12-steps, accountability group etc. is extremely difficult. It’s like a bomb waiting to explode.

It needs a complete change of attitude and perspective in live to be able to overcome this addiction.

Read through the GUE Handbook, look around on the forum and make yourself hemish.

Be gebenchet
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Re: Starting again 31 Jan 2011 17:19 #95069

How can I get started with the 12 step program without going to meetings.

For many reasons I am not able to.

But I really need as much help as possible.
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Re: Starting again 31 Jan 2011 17:26 #95070

  • ZemirosShabbos
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Dear Reb Dovid,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: Starting again 01 Feb 2011 13:38 #95196

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rebdovid wrote on 31 Jan 2011 17:19:

How can I get started with the 12 step program without going to meetings.



You can join one of the phone conferences. http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/hotline/Group.asp

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Re: Starting again 01 Feb 2011 14:05 #95197

  • bardichev
Welcome Reb Dovid

Dovid hamelech says to all of us (that's right all of us "lo chatta dovid ella lihoros teshuvah liyachid")

Kaasher Baah al bas sheva

Kaasher

The same way

With the same geshmak

With the same feel


Take it and put it into teshuvah and become clean again


I am here for youy and so is a huge forum of friends in the same boat


Resolve to post here

Its a good way to stay accountable

And u will get much chizzuk

As we say "keep on trucking"

Bardichev 
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Re: Starting again 01 Feb 2011 17:15 #95252

yup my screen name RebDovid is for that reason, it also has to do with what the Rambam write in hlichos teshuvah that when you do teshuvah you should change your name saying you are a different person.

thank you all for your support going on my second full day.
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Re: Starting again 03 Feb 2011 05:22 #95586

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Reb Dovid, How are you doing today?

BA
(formerly bendurdayah)
One minute at a time.
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Re: Starting again 03 Feb 2011 06:52 #95590

Made it through the day with Hashem's help.
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