After trying it on my own since I first discovered the site last month, I finally bit the bullet and decided to communicate with the GYE community.

I've been struggling with kedusha oriented problems since I was nine years old (I'm 31+ years old now), and I've had my ups and downs. Lately, I've had some downs. After a binge the Thursday night before Vayechi, I promised myself that I would go straight for Shovavim...

But last night out of total stupidity and timtum halev I googled myself to (spiritual) death for no special reason until 4 AM. (Please note that my ISP is Esrog -It has no pitum, and if you really want you can find REAL shmutz). Of course I resolved never to cruise the net again... which didn't stop me from being a little curious when I got back from davening -even though that didn't end up going anywhere, because I did catch myself.

I'm having trouble picking up the broken pieces of myself...HELP!!!

welcome! why don't u install the free filter 'k9' and have ur wife do the password? she doesn't ahve to know there's an issue or anything, she can just think ur a tzadik

Although I have to strengthen the gedarim (is K-9 more effective than Etrog is supposed to be?) my problem lies more in the area of getting up after the fall... Been there and done that too many times, and I'm sick and tired of myself

Hey BD,




Try something different. Try to see what works for you. Many people here have had success by speaking to someone such as a rav/partner/sponsor/psychologist etc. Other have worked the 12 steps and most people did a bit of both. There is a 12 step phone group that started recently (2 weeks ago) so you can join that. You can also try an internet accountability program such as webchaver.

Much hatzlocha

What's a choshuve chassidishe yungerman doing here  :D

installed wrote on 27 Dec 2010 12:35:


For me and allot of frum guys, the ThaPsik method works wonders. http://www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=2451
Of course in conjunction with The Filternet, Webchaver, Timed Internet Access.
Have your personal 90-day chart http://www.guardyoureyes.org/woh/WOHRules.php
Also join one of the 90-days accountability groups here on the forum. http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?board=10.0

You will soon get the introduction from Guard

Zai gebenchet

hi Ben Durdayah,

you got some great advice, filters, giving away the password, accountability software, 12 steps, talking with people about the problem, all great ideas and tools to help you get out of the rut.

daven to Hashem, talk to Him about your troubles, ask him to pull you out.

stick around here on GYE.

much hatzlocha
zs

Ben.  I have similar issues.  I actually study at the kollel every day 3 hours with the clear intention of running away from this shmutz.  I use safeeyes.com which lets me do something other filters don't - scramble the password.  But then again, getting the password involves making phone calls, and who is going to do that?

Dear Ben Durdaya,

Sorry for the delay in the welcome.... Welcome to our community!

Yes, the TaPHSiC method can work wonders for people whose filters are not strong enough to be fully safe (and none are).

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

One of our goals on GYE is to help people "hit bottom while still on top" so they will take recovery seriously. To explain better what I mean, please see this page. If you're here, it means you're already taking serious steps in recovery, so keep up the good work!

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. The lay down the cornerstone of all our work at GuardYourEyes. Before the GYE handbook people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, someone with a low level addiction wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences", putting in filters etc... For the first time ever, this handbook details all the techniques and tools dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now, anyone can read it through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook to the next tools, as the suggestions become progressively more "addiction-oriented".

We suggest printing out the handbooks and reading it them at least once. Then, we suggest going back and reading them again slowly on the computer, and this time pressing on the many links that are found in the different articles.

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Dear Reb G.,

B"h despite the late welcome on your part, the rest of the chevrah have accepted me into their ranks with the fullest 'varmkeit'.

The 'TapHSic' method is too drastic for me in the sense that I tzitter to actually make a neder with shem Hashem. In my case I think it would just crack me up! I did install K-9, so now I have another geder which hopefully will eliminate the loopholes that my Web-based server for some reason didn't block.

I had downloaded the two handbooks long before I took the plunge and started posting here, but I wasn't able to really practice what they preached until I came out of isolation, and met the wonderful guys here.

May Hashem be with you!

E. Ben Durdayah