I'm a 21 year old yeshiva bachur learning in an oustanding yeshiva.I was  looking at p**n For over 3 years on and off and Had been masturbating daily.At first it bothered me so much but as I got more and more obsessed it became so much easier to do.Not  that it didn't  make me feel as guilty as before it was just that as I sunk lower and lower I felt that there was no point of fighting.I felt like the ultimate hypocrite- on the outside a solid yeshiva bachur in an elite yeshiva and in the inside a total nothing that had absolutely no connection to G-D.  And then I found the website that saved my life Guardyoureyes.org. I immediately signed up for the Chizzuk emails and it's TOTALLY changed my perspective.right away I made a commitment to stop looking at bad things and to stop masturbating. I was clean for two weeks and then I fell.while the old me would have gone back to my old ways the new me realized that that was just the yetzer horah up to his old tricks that Id fallen for so many times before.I got right back up and now have been clean for 50 days thank G-D! I also made a Kabbalah to stop watching movies as I realized how detrimental it was to my yiras shamayim (even though id always known that I'd never internalized it ). Thank you guard you eyes for giving me a new lease in life!

Welcome to the GYE community. I haven't been here for that long myself so I don't know how appropriate it is for me to welcome you, but either way, it's nice to have you. I could relate a lot to your story. I'm about the same age with the same story. The only difference is after I fell that first time after finding GYE, I couldn't seem to pick myself up, but it's a work in progress over here, getting better every day with Hashem's help. So BH you have been able to keep hold of that inspiration. Unbelievable!!! Keep us posted.

WELCOME  ;D

Shtark keep on learning

you gotta cry a lot and daven too to clean your eyes and neshomo.
chap aran now that u are in a good mazev to ouspoilen and get strength for the days are still to come, now when u r conected to hashem chap aran and daven a lot he shouldnt let you bichlal get into a nisoyon and he should help you A LOT
alei vehazlach! love you!

Dear Whateverittakes613,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

Hi Whateverittakes613

Welcome and congratulation to your success.

Beware: After some 'clean' time we get the feeling that nothing can make us fall again, and we are strong enough. But nothing’s further than the truth. The YH is just waiting for an unguarded minute and we are back in his hands worse than before.

So it is very important to keep improving our guard. Like the ThaPsik method which works wonders. http://www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=2451 or a personal 90-day chart http://www.guardyoureyes.org/woh/WOHRules.phpand read the handbook over and over again.

Also keep posting and reading other peoples victories, as this gives us real chizzuk to continue under any circumstances.

Be gebencht and much hatzlocho