Hello,

I wanted to introduce myself as I am new to this site and could really use some help and am just at the point where I have admitted to myself that there is a real problem that I need to tackle head on. While I do not want to go into specifics now I am looking for a mentor/sponsor who can guide me as I am completely out of my element and do not know where to begin. I went to my first SA meeting last night and it was helpful just to admit I had a problem as well as share in a group environment. I guess a mentor who is religious and married would be ideal to talk with on a daily basis as this has been an ongoing battle for many years and know I need help asap!

All the best and happy chanukah and tizku lmitzvot!

Best,

Aharon

Hey Aaron,

Welcome to the GYE community! You'll get an official welcome form the site administrator soon with links to the various tools and general information. The fact that you accept that you have a problem is a huge thing and will make your life much easier (it took me a long time to come to that realization). FYI, you can sign up for a sponsor or partner by sending an email or writing a post in the sponsor/partner thread ( www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?board=3.0 ). The difference between a partner and sponsor is that a partner is someone that is currently struggling with this while a sponsor has had some success and is more of a mentor.

Looking forward to see you on the forums.

Happy chanuka

hi Aharon,

welcome! you came to a great place. stick around and you will see how much you can gain by being here. read, post and get to know the special people here.

much hatzlocha
zs

uwelcome aharon

resolve to stay here for a bit

post away

be happy

keep on trucking

post post post!!!

bardichev

Welcome to GYE International Airport.
I call it that because when you first arrive it can be a little overwhelming with all the options.
Let us know if you would like some specific help.
a freilichin chanukah. 

welcome.....admitting to yourself that you have a problem is key in fighting. do you have a filter? that is also key!
if you stay here, and plan on posting sharing and taking chizzuk and any advice or any thoughts that you have, then you have already won. cus whenever you fall or are about to fall you share and tell and post and the more you use the website the better off youll be. there is tons and tons and tons to say.but i have to run now.

also this forum is baruch hashem very big and getting even bigger, its easy to get lost in it or not get everything that yuo can, but the main thing is to try and get used to it!

Hi Aharon

A warm welcome to the GYE community!!

I'm fairly new here too and definitely agree with the other posters that while this place (forum, available tools & approaches) can be a bit overwhelming in the beginning - definitely the key is to stick with it and the right way will open up.

The fact that you've not only admitted that you have a problem - but have actually started going to SA meetings is a HUGE practical step in the right direction. Getting a frum/married sponsor is definitely a next logical step.

While I'm too new here to offer any practical advice (other than installing a filter for which you don't have password - though you've probably already done that ) - I am definitely rooting for you. Let's grow together!!

Hatzlacha Rabbah and a luminous Channukah to you!

Welcome to the forum, Aharon!

Wow, you just got here and you're already in 12-steps and going to meetings.  You've just time-warped ahead in recovery.  You're definitely on the right track!

Good luck, and happy chanukah!

  --Eye.

Reb Aharon,

What going on?

How are things progressing?

Greetings, Reb Aharon!

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 06 Dec 2010 19:37:

Thank you everyone for the warm introduction!

I am very excited about joining Duvid Chaims new cycle as well as am trying out several meetings and trying to get a feel for what is most helpful. This is an uphill battle but it gives me chizuk to read the forum as well as go on the conf. calls and my next step is to get a sponsor which I am in the process of doing.

While I am a newbie so far bh I have been sober for a little over a week and trying to take things day by day.

They say what you put in is what you get out so I am trying a little of everything and seeing what works best.

Happy Chanukah and all the best!

Aharon

Don't think I'm ready to be a mentor, but if there's anything you'd like to discuss, there's a ton of great support here in general. I don't think I'd be where I am today without GYE, and with the help of the people here (and Hashem's), I've accomplished more than I thought possible.

Feel free to Pm me if there's anything you'd like to discuss privately.

Personally, I found it very helpful to post consistently. It helped me connect to other people. More importantly, though, it forced me to examine and keep track of how I was doing, and how I was feeling about the things I was facing. And also, to learn from each situation I faced, whether I fell or not.

gevaldig.
keep on trucking.

Aaron, Great to hear your story and  that u r moving forward.
btw,Does anyone  on this site  know about the SA phone meetings? if u do u can pm me the info. i can not access the site b/c of blocks on my system.