So I have assessed myself and my situation and realized this year im falling more often suddenly because of certain reason.. (hence the reason I came to this website)

I realized (took me a while....im a moron)  that the root cause of my behavior is because im alone a lot. As a student in College I live in a tiny basement apt. with 1 other guy and we are on different schedules. I find myself in the apt. alone a lot.
I have to be there to eat lunch and supper.
But im going to try and limit the rest of my time there.
I set up a schedule thats a bit wacky and has me hanging out in a Yeshivas Library on some days and on others staying at college all day. this means no lunch on tuesdays....

but what else can I do?

S4nh,

It is good to see your concern and the efforts you are putting in to deal with the situation.

IMHO, you aren't falling becuase you are alone. That makes it easier to fall, but ultimately you fall "because" you have not internatlized/taken the measures to ensure that you appreciate this behavior is not in you best interest/what you want to do. For many people a 12-step/SA program was what it took. Others have been able to internalize the message without it, but you need to work primarily on yourself first.
Your environment is certainly also important to deal with. K9/a reporting program will not work for you?

Hatzlacha Rabba,

How about a little old fashioned chessed.  I don't know where you are located but I'm sure if you make inquiry you'll find opportunities.  It has the benefit of keeping you busy, helping you grow and actually learning to live a little.  You may also want to consider something like partners-in-torah (oorah has a similar program called torah mates).  Hatzlocha

Staying alone is indeed very dangerous. We must get out of isolation. Never stay alone for long.
Kol Hakavod on recognizing this.

There's a gadol on this site--ZemirosShabbos--who made a big change in my life.  i want to pass on his suggestion.

Every day, look to do a little kindness.  G'milut Chassadim.  Look for them.

It has to be a little project you decide on for yourself for it to work, I think. 

If you DO take this suggestion up, I'd love to know your experience of doing it. 

Much success.

there are a few other college guys hanging around here... why not start a COLLEGE GUYS CORNER forum thread.. and get to meet some of the other guys.. have phone buddies...ask them for their ideas and suggestions.

dov.ii

Hey College guy,

How's it going today?

I'm a college guy. My email is aryehtahor@gmail.com. I would be very happy to speak.

@kosher.
i know its not in my best interest. after all, im here. I was able to stay away for 2 full weeks, but then i became carefree and thought it was safe to just relax... I also read the 12 steps and found that i had already known them...
i dont feel its something i need to learn or internalize. Im a very nervous person by nature. it forces me to be open with myself.
i mean... when I realized I had an issue...i went to lengths to tell my mother. I told her that she has to make sure i dont take my computer downstairs with me. I also told her I want to see someone, but i dont know if that part got through...
she thinks im ok and just need to make fences.

I dont know how addicted I am, doing it at most once a week with porn. but yes I know I want to stop

plus this being alone thing is really hard. especially when my roomate randomly takes off and im left alone with no tactic....I cant wait till this year is over.... then im done with this apt.

s4nh wrote on 24 Nov 2010 00:29:

It is one thing to "know" the 12 steps, and it is another to "work" the steps.  I am not saying that you need to enter a 12 step program, but you should know, that many people work the steps and find recovery.  I respect that you are aware you have a problem, but if you need help to resolve it, just knowing the steps is not enough.

May Hashem bless you and help you with  your struggle.