I just found out about this amazing website. I've been struggling with this for almost 20 years. I've tried eveything except for the most important. Admitting defeat. A therapist finally convinced me. Its such a good feeling to be able to share. I've got a streak going on now. I would love to join a SA phone conference but I have a dilema. The only available time for me is between 8:00pm and 9:00 pm EST and on Sundays after 3:30 pm. If someone could help me with that I would really appreciate that.

Hello shteigingguy, I am glad u finally arrived here, this is the place that u want to be in this stage, we here are all having the same goal and that is to recover from our lust addiction which has been destroying our lives for years now, so make urself comfortable , peek around, see what other say about this issue, make urself some friends, and of course install a strong filter, and sign up for the 90 days chart in the WOH section, the mail thing is sharing & caring & laughing, as more u share the easier it will get cuz we are only as sick as our secrets + other people here can help with advice , we have all been there and still there actually, and in the same time we can get chizak from u, and there is no room for depression here, we must be happy, for now this alone that u found us here, should be a good reason enough for u to smile
Right now the group call is not working ur hours, so I can't advice u on that , I know that there is some plans to expend the calls to other times as well as soon there is enough veterans who can lead the call, so for now stay tuned with us & hashem will send strength ur way to overcome this, we wish u all the best in ur holy journey

Welcome there is an SA group in denver with phone meeting many times throughout the day. Your very brave for taking this step. Good luck. It might help if you shared a drop more.

Dear Shteighingguy,

Welcome to GYE!
You got two responses from choshuve gyeleit.
When you first show up at gye you don't know what's behind a name.
Soon you get to know the gadlus in yeder einer.

i like your name
it has a nice ring to it.

Dear Shteigingguy,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

One of our goals on GYE is to help people "hit bottom while still on top" so they will take recovery seriously. To explain better what I mean, please see this page. If you're here, it means you're already taking serious steps in recovery, so keep up the good work!

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. The lay down the cornerstone of all our work at GuardYourEyes. Before the GYE handbook people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, someone with a low level addiction wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences", putting in filters etc... For the first time ever, this handbook details all the techniques and tools dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now, anyone can read it through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook to the next tools, as the suggestions become progressively more "addiction-oriented".

We suggest printing out the handbooks and reading it them at least once. Then, we suggest going back and reading them again slowly on the computer, and this time pressing on the many links that are found in the different articles.

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Thanks everyone for all the advice. I'd love to hear more about that Denver group.
In regards to my personal story, I can share some. It all started innocently with some masturbation when I was 12 years old. I didn't even realize what I was doing. It just felt good and relaxed me. From then on it was downhill. I am currently 31 with 4 kids. I've had clean breaks, but when I would go back it would be to worse things. I switched from trying to fight it like crazy, to just accepting that it would have to be part of my life. B"H I recently went to a therapist. In the last conversation, I kept on asking him what my mindset should be. Every week I would try a different one, only to fail at the end of the week. He finally screamed at me. He said, "I already told you that you can't do this yourself. WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME AGAIN WHAT YOU CAN DO? YOU SEE HOW YOUR SET UP FOR FAILURE!" It finally penetrated. I was always trying to solve it myself. He finally showed me this. It finally sunk in. I can't do this myself. And the amazing thing is that I felt  so much better. It took so much pressure off me. I realized that there was so many other places in my life that I was always trying to take care of everything .

Beautiful!
Self awareness is such a special feeling!
Hatzlacha....

k

very moving. thank you. you are in the right place and on the road

It all started innocently with some masturbation when I was 12 years old. I didn't even realize what I was doing. It just felt good and relaxed me.
First of all Baruch HaBah! U R in a good place!
i identify with what u wrote.
not sure what u r looking for as far as a sponsor is concerned. if u just want a daily check-in to renew your sobriety,i might be able to help u. please pm me.

Some one posted info on Denver group on site. Can't find it at moment. Maybe do a search of site or of web. Good luck.

I really identify with your trying to solve this on your own.  I couldn't even bring myself to go to a therapist.  Eventually I made it to SA and have started to not only stop despairing of my life, but to actually start developing the beginnings of hope.

Feel free to reach out anytime and congratulations on coming to the realization of what your true circumstances are and being willing to receive help!

Thanks for all the encouragement. I need some chizuk. My therapist advised me to join a face to face SA group. I'm out of town so its probally going to be all goyim. Its going to be hard. But I know its what I've got to do.

shteigin,

Welcome to the greatest site on the internet with some of the holiest people in the world!

You will definitely overcome this - there is no question in my mind. I really look forward to hearing about your success... even if it takes a while.

Hatzlacha

There have been other who have gone to non jewish meetings. Dov should know more about this. It might not be as hard as you think.

Hatzlacha

keep posting here. maybe someone will offer to sponsor u.
i did speak to 2 frum quys with stong sobriety  after the SA meeting. they shared that it is not so important to pick a frum guy as a sponsor. mentioned that the next SA convention is going to be in Irvine Calif. also look in to JSS. btw how r u doing?