hello everybody
        my name is, well thats a secret actually but the point is im in my high teens and have been viewing p and been m.z.l. for a long time probably since i was twelve. im in yeshiva and considered "very shtark" by everyone . i just recently bumped into this sight i typed pritzus into google and you guys were on the first page. at first (for the past three days.) i was afraid to sign up . im probably scared somebody will recognize me (which is kind of ridiculous).but after reading alot of posts this site sounds like it could be helpful. so back to the story im a regular yehiva bochur during the zman but durin bein hazmanim (which always happens to be erev yomtov or chol hamoed all the more depressing!) and a lot of erev shabbosim i have a serious p and mzl issue. i know im not addicted because when i go to sleep away camp in the summer i dont even have hirhurim raim. but still i cant seem to stop myself when im alone with the internet. just knowing that so many frum jews have this problem whas a huge chizzuk .

                      chazak ve ametz

welcome aboard!
you have just joined a great group of yidden who struggle together and help each other out. read up on this site, the handbooks, the forum and all the articles and you will see for yourself the various tools and tips you can use in your quest. a good idea to start with is to install a filter on your computer (K9 - it's free), that will giveyou a little breathing room to work with.
keep posting and reading and growing!
hatzlacha

thanks for the hello i already started to peruse the handbook. but about the filter i cant install one because its my families computer and i dont have the guts to tell my parents about it

i don't know your situation but sometimes you can tell your parents that you heard from your rebbeim how much of a nisayon the internet can be (don't we know that well? ) and you want to make sure that you don't fall prey to that so can you get a filter? it's free and easy (K9). you do not have to tell them you have fallen in the past.
if you do a quick search on the forum you will see that this very question has been addressed often in the past by people in similar situations to yours.

thanks for the good advice but something tells me im not going to listen. does the filter block sites that average people(my parents) go on like youtube and stuff? because memanifshach i have a problem youtube is one of my biggest problems but if it blocks average sites then it will annoy my parents.

so guys i dont think im gonna be able to be a frequent commenter like some of you guys for a bunch of reasons 1. im in yeshiva most of the time 2. after reading this site im going to try to avoid the internet as much as possible. 3. if im on the internet then probably the only thing ill have to say is "  i was nichshal" (like just now  :-[) 5. im a pretty slow typer so writing is a whole avoda.  however i want to complinent you guys (and i say you guys because this feels like one big family) on this awesome site. im sure hundreds of people were helped by it. and this site is really proffesional looking.(heimish people not a heimish site. lol) mi kiamcha yisrael? you guys should take this post as a big compliment cosidering how long it took me to write it!

Hey Bachur.

I just joined myself a few days ago and my situation is kind of similar to yours in some ways.  I have struggled through many bein hazmanims to stay off the internet because I realized it could be a dangerous place for me.  I will also be in a yeshiva in a few days and will not have as much opportunity to post.  I do think though that the nisayon is a serious one which will always be a danger without a proper filter.  Posting on this site is definitely helpful, and you can even do it B'sha'as nisayon as a cry for help - Someone may be there to talk you through it, or in the very least sometimes just writing out your thoughts and struggles that you are going through could help in itself to lessen the strength of the nisayon.

Just a word about the K9 filter - from what I have seen you can choose exactly what you want it to filter out.  So it can allow sites that your parents might want to use while blocking other sights. It may be possible to set it up so that different sights are blocked for different users so that a site like youtube could be blocked for you (and maybe your siblings if that would make things easier) but not for your parents.

Have a good z'man in yeshiva! And if you ever do find yourself on the web please check in and let us know how things are going!

hi bachur132,

for your sake, please talk to a rebbi you might be close with, or your parents possibly, or anyone else who you trust and might be able to help you. the guilt and loneliness associated with these type of problems can literally destroy a life. i know this and many others here know this all too well. you will not be able to help yourself on your own.
at the very least download the handbooks and the other books linked on the home page and print them and save them for future reference.
sorry to sound so harsh but it would be even worse to keep quiet.
hatzlacha
ashrecha ben yisrael

bachur123 wrote on 06 Oct 2010 20:03:

B.H. u must have some special zechusim which led u to this site! This was really the yad Hashem guiding u out of the shmootz!  btw,prior to my sobriety, one time when surfing the net even though i i came up with a picture of HaRav Shach,TZT"L,it did not stop me from going veiter.
the thing about addiction is that once i started, i would spend hours of time looking and even though i kept saying to myself i am going to stop ,i must stop ,this habbit is ridiculous ect. ,i kept going back for more until i finally made it to  live SA meetings which have been a yeshuoh gedolah for me. for u as a "shtark learner" it make sense to make strong gedarim and through yourself into learning. I assume u get a much better geshmak from lumdus than u do from p*& mzl. What can u suggest for people like myself who are schvach in learning and find it difficult to get a real geshmak in ruchnyus?

thanks guys i just went to k9 website and realized i have to wait for my parents because it would be ridiculous for me to have the password. i fell like all i needed to do was express my problems to other yidden and now im never going to fall again. but thats for sure the yetzer hara talking. (its geshmak to have the yetzer hara pumping you up hes usually doing the opposite!) i wish i had tons of money to give you guys but im just a bochur. maybe ill win the loterry "hey you never know"

Im yitein ish ess kol hoin beiso b'ahavah boz yavizu lo.

A person cannot buy into kedusha by just throwing $$$ at it; by signing up and working on yourself You are part of 'it'! YOU ARE 'IT'!!!

im not sure how to do the whole quote and reply thing but regarding yedidya alephs post im no rabbi but what i think is that it says in seforim hakedoshim that everybody has there chelek in the torah hence vesen chelkainu bsoraseche and ki im bisoras hashem cheftzo ubisoraso yehege yomum vilayla.(meaning what you feel you have a certain connection to and chefetz for in hashems torah will become your privately owned torah) so my point is that i dont know your personall back ground but maybe kiddushin and bavva kamma is not your thing maybe you need to be introduced to the torah from a diffrent light(chassidus, kabbala, agadata etc.) and then youll be inspired to learn the rest. the yeshiva system may not be for everyone . the reason im succesful(as far as they know lol) is because im naturally "gemara savvy" but that doesnt mean jumping into a dry piece of gemara youre whole life without learning anything about your neshama or hashem is good for everybody. so dont get down if youre not shtark or lumdish this whole website(and coincidentally the whole point of life) is about being good in hashems eyes not in others

thanks for the words of chizuk. Yes,although i did learn in litvishe yeshivas and have been expsosed to very geshmake lumdus,i tend toward agada and mussor.
what i am looking for is a seder ha limud with maximum geshmak for minimum effort and time. any got to go to my SA meeting. Bracha V'hatzlocho!

after reading alot of posts on this website i realized how greatfull i have to be to hashem for finding you guys so early in life before things get really bad ch'v.