hi everyone, i'm new to this and i'm so glad i found this sight. i've been addicted since 12 yrs old,for about 15 yrs. i feel so helpless and find it hard to believe i can actually beat this thing. whats the best way to go about this at this site? (therapist,12 steps,atitude?) i feel a little overwhelmed and would appreiciate a little direction. thanx!

Dear Dave,

Welcome to GYE!

This site can be confusing at first because since it is so comprehensive in tools and approaches to overcoming the nisayon, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by all the options.

Try out the different optioins of the site.  The more you experiment with it, the more you will get the feeling of where it is you want to start.

Also, if you write a little bit about yourself, that can help people direct you further.

You might want to try:
chizuk emails under the tool menu.
read the different ebooks on the home page.
read the thread "Tips For New Users" on the "Introduce Yourself" forum.  (warning this is a plug.)
Read through posts on the forums.  Get a feel for what help is out there.
Give and get chizuk.

kol tuv.

thanx, i'm 2 scared to give to much info right now did anyone out there go to a real sa group,? is it worth it to look for one in my area?or should i just use whats on the site?

Welcome aboard my brave dave, 2nite is ur ishpiza I assume , may king david be to ur side in this struggle, 1st of all u did the smartest move by joining us in here, we r a bunch of guys looking get free from this addiction & most important we r desperately looking to get closer to hashem
Regarding ur question if its worth looking for live SA meetings or this site will be good for u, I remember "Guard" quoting once that if ur addiction is only virtual than u can start by using this site but if its live action than u will need live meetings, so get comfortable 1st, I know its overwhelming @ first, we have all been newbie's here on this site, but browse away on this site, share ur struggle with other people, if ur not easy about sharing it in public, look up some1 in the forum 1 of the old members see if u like their writing style & their attitude and go with them private maybe 1st,
I wish u lots of luck, its a hard struggle but its worth it, take my word
A git kvital

Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joining GYE is the first step and it is a big step. It is the step that will bring you many good places.

Next GET A FILTER AND GIVE THE PASSWORD TO THE GABAI
www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=24

Next join the 90 day chart
guardyoureyes.org/woh/signup.php

this is a way to tract your progress.

Next read the handbooks. they can be downloaded from the homepage on the right hand side. or here www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/GuardYourEyes%20Handbook.pdf

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/GuardYourEyes%20Attitude.pdf

Next sing up for chizuk emails.

Next post away. tell us about your struggles, hopes, pain, victories and share with us your journey.

HAZTLACHA RABBA

also see this link
www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2908.0

here is Guard's welcome, he is very busy nowspreading the word so we all have to help out.


Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Even though sharing is scary at first it is very worthwhile.

Brother Dave, welcome!

I'm also new here. I entered my fantasy world of escapism when i was around eight years old, perhaps younger, and now - 25 years later - I'm starting to get out of it and really connect to real people.

If you carry around those 15 years on your back, you'll buckle. The past is gone - don't take my word for it - Tsaddikim tell us this. R' Nachman writes 'The past is nothing.' We have to let it go and start afresh each day, and sometimes a thousand times each day.

For sure it's hard to believe that you'll beat this. For now just try to be open to the possibility - "Maybe i really can beat this. Maybe I'll be able to leave it behind me and live life without it, as others have managed." It won't be an overnight miracle - it's a process that will take time. Hashem is infinitely patient. We have to be patient with ourselves too. He knows if we're trying.

Hang in here. We're all on an upwards journey, but the curve up is slow and slight, with plenty of kinks along the way. Perhaps this is our main task in life - just to keep following this path. As long as we keep our heads up and keep moving, keep davening and don't give in to despair - we've succeeded.

Chazak V'ematz

Aaron

Hey Dave,

Welcome buddy! I know you what you mean, I was thankful to G-D but pretty overwhelmed myself when i first stumbled upon this site. Take your time and try to follow some of the great advice of the senior members here. Good luck and keep strong my friend!

Joe