Hi everyone
I just discovered this web site a week ago. I am very grateful to whoever is doing this for setting it up . I believe there should be a greater publicity campaign as I am sure there are many suffering yidddin that do no know about the site.So far I have foud it ver helpful.However I have no confidence in beating back my "friend " that has haunted my life for over 30 years.I now feel that it has succeded in diminishing my abolity to think besides ruining my ability to relate to my wife.The worst part is that duringone perioda few years ago when I "discovered" the internet for the first time and was viewing stuff I got very headstrong about a shidduch for my son and did not support my wife in her opposition to the shidduch.Result a divoce 3months later.

I thank you all for particpating and I hope to talk more in the future.
worthless :-[

Hello!

Welcome!

Make yourself comfortable!

.... and CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!


You are definately not Worthless.  >

The Yetzer Horah doesn't think so; if he would, why does he spend sooooo much time pushing you into the mud?

The Yetzer Horah sees GREAT potential laying dormant in you!


Not, that you joined us over here, you will begin cleaning off the grime that is covering your beautiful neshama. With just a little bit of polishing You will see how much it will shine!

Yosef Hatzadik, thank you for that post!

Mr WL (will laugh...), welcome.

You  have found your home.

Stick around, join the fun, learn a little about how to deal with your 'best friend', learn a little about yourself, and guess what.....


in 6 months, look back at your first post, above.

You will laugh.

kutan

Mr WL

U gotta see the Rambam

The second one does

Teshuvah he is loved. And cherished


Yes u cannot redo ur sons life

But u can start being good

Today

Bardichev


Keeeeeeeep


On

Trucking

Wow you are so much ahead of many of us in your recovery I'm lealous.

Wait you say, What the heck is he talking about?

Many of us think by the sheer force of our will power we will overcome the YH, we will beat this addiction, we can win.

And then we fall, and fall, and we realize we cannot.

Then only then do we turn to outside help, turn to HAshem and say we can't do this only You can help us.

So my friend cheer up your already up to that step. So get yourself started. And by all means change that name!

Winning means STAYING IN THE GAME!!! (bards)

:)dear you all thank you for your warm words .You guys are great.I will work at changing my name but give me some time .It's the way I feel inside after 30 years of being "frum"
and looking at all these things I shoudn't have.Once I went to a lady of the night even about 25 years ago.It was terrible.Then I was stupid  and guilty enough to tell my wifeabout it.I have been guilty ever since.I am supposed to be a "rabbi "(I do have semichah) raising money for jewish institutions and when I fouled  up with my son partiallly because I was hyped up in my fantasy world it blew me awy.
I went into a major depression found a job insales who fired me after 8 months-I was too jewish etc.Now I am coming back but I have to start over and I desperately need hashem's bracha.I have been clean for a week nowbut I have little confidence in my ability to go long lkre this.thx wl

WL
Why focus on the week

Focus on that u pushed back the 6000 pound gorilla

A weeek I major

Try another day


Keep on trucking


Bardichev

I fell ,I knew  it,right before yom kipper .I did not look at anything just imagined hashem please forgive me

You aren't going to conquer this in a day...let all the meshugoim here help you....we are withyou in the stuggle.

Tichleh Shonim v'kilelosayhem

Tochel SHono uVirchosehah!

Best

Shmendrick ( a name somewhat less offensive than my first try...I agree...how about "worth_much _more_than_I_thought" ???)

If your at GYE, you will learn quickly that we are not in it for the short term.
We can fall. We can fall right before Yom Kipur. We probably can fall on Yom Kipur (gulp).
We don't get excited over the falls and we don't get excited over the streaks. We are too busy connecting to ourselves and others and Hashem.
The end result is good.
Please, give yourself a chance. Keep posting, help others, join a phone group, read the emails, any or all of the above.
There is a diamond inside of you, and it WILL start shining.
k

thank you once again for your support.
I was thinking about what Dov (?)posted on dailu chizuk that al true recovery needs the 12 steps.I think that for me self pleasuring is a way of release of frustration-whether from wife ,work,etc.When I come home and once again my wife really has no love for me -(is it because she grew up without any father or is it my fault because i am not a good enough husband,father  i do not know)I have tried for about 30 years to win her love or getting some sighns of approval from her but these are few and far between.

A friend has told me that I should stop seeking her approval so much and do what I think is right.I know I have to be less afraid of her anger and have to say no to her but i am not sure what is the torah way.I cannot say all this to my ravcause we are in shidduchim and it will hurt I know it will
Please advise

Dear Reb Worthless,

The door is open for you no less than it is for anyone else, and it takes time. So relax and ask Hashem to help you out of this mess on His schedule. You are reaching out to friends - it's about time....don't give it up now, OK? Keep on going this way and find safe, understanding people you can post to, email, and eventually even talk to. I don't recall ever saying that one cannot recover without the 12 steps, but I see hope in your recognition that the strains and pains of real life are related to your mishega'as, as they are for me and others like us. If you want to use the 12 steps (or part of them), then do it - just not alone again...that's been the problem. Isolation is a killer that allows guilt, pain, self-pity and self-loathing to fester and multiply like crazy. Dayenu, no?

You are wallowing in painful, awful guilt, it seems, for decades. It is actually beautiful that you are admitting that openly, and it is mechazek me in my own struggles, so thanks for the beautiful music. Keep at it and the music will slowly, over months and years, become beautiful to you too. And even your wife will begin to hear it when she is ready. 

You are not alone, at all....unless you choose to remain so. You are certainly lightyears ahead of many out there who are still sold on the great 'value' of hiding their pain and disgust in the dark.

Gmar Chasima Tova and hatzlocha with Shalom Bayis, parnossah, shidduchim and everything else...

Love,

Dov

dov wrote on 17 Sep 2010 05:54:

Ditto.



Dov, you are amazing.

W,

Welcome to Recovery!!

You sound like the perfect candidate.  Emotionally bottomed out.  Spent.  IT has stopped working.

The great thing about hitting bottom is there is only one way to go!  Hang around here or go to an SA group you will meet and hear many stories of many like you or those who were even worse off and are now enjoying productive happy lives.  It can happen to you to.

Gmar Chasima Tov