Hi Ben and welcome abroad. Taking the first step is always the hardest. But you've come to the right place. Just a point of advice you can bypass the Y"H by getting the daily chizuk emails, posting on the forums and getting a partner. There are other ideas in the handbook as well. Hatzlacha in your recovery.

Hey Ben,

Great to have you here! There are many ways to get around a filter but I don't think that it is there to stop us (because there are so many ways to circumvent them). For me at lest, it is a heker, a reminder of my commitment to stop. I find tracking software to be more of a deterrent but either way, it is our addiction that we must overcome because our yetzer horah is sly and will always find new opportunities. urajew is right, posting on the site will do you and us lots of good. It is really what keeps me in line.

Hi Installed,

I'm really excited to be here, all we have here in Idaho are Christians, I can't relate to anybody. Maybe I can make some new friends here, Nice! It sounds like there's a lot of wise counsel to be found here.

                                                                                                                                            Ben

Best of luck! I'm sure that you will overcome this.

I installed the K-9 on my computer and let my wife pick the password, for about two weeks I felt victorious at overcoming a 30+ year old addiction. Until  my yetzer hara and I got together and I discovered a way to  bypass the filter.

Hey R' Ben, Welcome aboard!!

I hope you are successful here in ridding yourself of this habit you obviously want to discontinue, but even more so, I hope you grow as a jew and as a human being, and uncover within yourself treasurehouses full of tzidkus and avodas H-shem, which were waiting all your life to be discovered.

That being said...

This is a standard occurance. The filter does not actually change you. That's your job (with the help of H-shem of course). It's just there to 'back up' your work so to speak. Think of all the ways you get around the filter, and make them unavailable to yourself. There is a filter gabbai here who can hold the password to your account, that works for a lot of people.

The cure for a headache can very possibly be just to pop an asprin. But for a serious desease, a serious treatment is needed, and this will prove itself through the repeatitive failures of all other efforts to cure it.
The problem we all share can be adequately described as 'a complicated problem'. That doesn't G-d forbid mean that we have slim chances of recovery, but simply that it takes more than a simple installation of a filter to cure it.

Don't get me wrong, the filter is an absolute must, but it's just the first step to recovery. It's like cutting off a drug addict from his source of whatever he's using. It will in no way solve the problem, and if it's left at that - he will 100% find another source in a matter of time,  but it's neccessary because it allows for the further steps to be taken.

I don't know your personality, so I can't tell you which method is right for you (12 steps, Torah approach, RR etc.), I can just say that my advice to you is that you get started with one of them RIGHT AWAY. There are enough people here on the site using whichever method you choose, that you can have a support group and company to dicuss your progress with and get advice from.

I wish you all the best,
KG

Benny,

In my experience the Sexaholics Anonymous program and ESPECIALLY the live meetings are the most powerful tool available on the planet to fight this addiction.  Many people have a hard time getting themselves into the rooms for the first time but once they get there they usually wonder why they didn't get there years (decades?) earlier.

Good Luck



By the way what is the story with the "-the-goy" handle?  Not that it's a problem just wondering if there was something to it.

Unfortunately, K-9 has a huge flaw. I will not go into details as it is obviously better not to know. Point is that it won't stop us anyway. There is just too much out there. There are some people that don't know how to circumvent it but most people can. Tracking software is probably a better option but there is also a way to get around it. Lets just try to work on ourselves and use the tools as a reminder/delay so that we can catch ourselves. There is no way that we will be able to overcome this if we rely solely on these tools.

Hi Benny

Welcome aboard and much bracha and hatzlacha to you, as you join our august society

I must say that I do not think K( is very easy to get around....my son has been trying non-stop for three weeks now nad has not yet found a way ... so I would not worry too much

Quesion - what is the name "Benny the Goy"??  I got a lot of grief for the name I originally chose (oisvorf)....why are you identifying yourself this way???  Curious minds wnat to know

Best of luck

Shmendrick

shmendrick wrote on 11 Jul 2010 19:18:


Hi Shmendrick,

  Wow, I don't get it, I thought, "Benny the Goy" was so funny and clever, Oh well, I've changed it back to my original handle, "Ben, Son of Noah".
 

Ben, Son of Noah wrote on 11 Jul 2010 20:53:


So, just to be clear, you are saying that you are not Jewish -- correct???  (Not that there is anything wrong with that - Seinfeld)  If that is the case, I am curious about what draws you here as opposed to similar non-Jewish groups out there

Hoping that I am not offending

Shmandrick