Hello,

My name is TV.  I am 40, married with children.  I have a wonderful wife and children.  I have struggled with m***, p*** for many years.  Thanks be to God have never acted out live.  I certainly would have if give the chance.  It has gotton much worse over the last two years.  My wife knows about my issues and really flipped out when I told her three years ago (about p** and m**) she has  been praying for me which is  a wonderful feeling.  You can feel so isolated and misunderstood in this type of situaliton.  I thank God for her.

I found this site just 10 days ago.  I am very excited and feel lots of support from all the tools and resouces contained within (not to mention all the wise posts from you all).  What an amazing site.  I have no excuses now!

I am not a Jew and hope that my presence will not offend any of you.  So please be patient with me as I do not know much Hebrew.  I am pretty shy so probably will not post too much.

Thanks in advance....TV

Hey TV,

(I think) We welcome all types of people, regardless of background who want recovery from lust addicition. We will run that with Guard after Sabbath in Israel is over. Nonetheless, welcome to our community. I am sure you can give great insight into life from a different persepective than most of us so its good you are here.

Anyhow, its almost Sabbath for us Jews on the east coast so I am going to head out!

Be well!

-Yiddle

Welcome TV,

You sound like a really lucky guy - not only that you have such a fantastic wife but that you also appreciate it.  Most of my recovery work is in live SA (Sexaholic Anonymous) meetings where, although there are lots of jewish members are of course open to everyone.  I welcome you here - we all need to find GOD or die and when your life is in danger you just want to survive.  It doesn't really make a difference if your not jewish.  If you can help us and we can help you then we need each other. 

Thank you both.  What a blessing this forum is! 

Dear TV,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

One of our goals on GYE is to help people "hit bottom while still on top" so they will take recovery seriously. To explain better what I mean, please see this page. If you're here, it means you're already taking serious steps in recovery, so keep up the good work!

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. The lay down the cornerstone of all our work at GuardYourEyes. Before the GYE handbook people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, someone with a low level addiction wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences", putting in filters etc... For the first time ever, this handbook details all the techniques and tools dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now, anyone can read it through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook to the next tools, as the suggestions become progressively more "addiction-oriented".

We suggest printing out the handbooks and reading it them at least once. Then, we suggest going back and reading them again slowly on the computer, and this time pressing on the many links that are found in the different articles.

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Welocme, even though you are shy posting willhelp you tons. Please try and share We need to become more aware of ourselves to heal. Tell us more about you ups and downs we are here to help.

Welcome tv.  That you even found this site, and then took the huge risk to reach out is something all of us respect and appreciate very much.  Sharing will get easier and easier.  My experience here has been that it is a truly safe place.  I can be myself, no secrets, and that guys here really care about each other.

Whatever amount of sharing you want to do is always fine.  But please know that we're out here, and we read your thread, and we want to know how you're doing.  Day by day.  Yeah.  For real.

Just for today. 

1daat:  Thanks for your kind post.  I think my shyness is an insecurity about my "secrets"
I seem to have a hard time with this.  Not sure why but it is a challenge for me.

Holy Yid:  You are right on.  I think it will help me tons posting and opening up and relating to other men who share my stuggles.

Admin:  Thanks for the info!