I dont really know what to say, I am addicted to P and MB
I had 1 week, felt like I had gotten it beat, and then some major stuff happened in my life and I just slipped, right now, with both, I am so so sorry  :-[  :'(

I need help, I need support and I am afraid to reach out.

Welcome!

Your in a good place here.  Knowing the problem is the first step and if you keep looking for a solution it is out there. It's a lot of work but if feels good.

Most of us here have the experience of stopping for a period of time and then going back to it.  That's how we know were addicted.  As it says in the SA Whitebook - stopping wasn't the problem, we did that many times. Staying stopped was the problem!

Over hear and is live SA meetings there is nothing to fear.  We share your problem, sometimes in a different form, but always the same underlying roots.  Keep coming back and your sure to find some relief

G-d is still there.  Be ba'al teshuvah.  Seek Him.

1dayatatime wrote on 03 Jul 2010 00:18:


thank you, i will, I am sorry

Dear Noahide,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

One of our goals on GYE is to help people "hit bottom while still on top" so they will take recovery seriously. To explain better what I mean, please see this page. If you're here, it means you're already taking serious steps in recovery, so keep up the good work!

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. The lay down the cornerstone of all our work at GuardYourEyes. Before the GYE handbook people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, someone with a low level addiction wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences", putting in filters etc... For the first time ever, this handbook details all the techniques and tools dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now, anyone can read it through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook to the next tools, as the suggestions become progressively more "addiction-oriented".

We suggest printing out the handbooks and reading it them at least once. Then, we suggest going back and reading them again slowly on the computer, and this time pressing on the many links that are found in the different articles.

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Thank you very much, I will check out all those links.

Welcome, there are many here who struggle like you. It is a hard road but one worth traveling. Telling your story is agood place to start. Tell us more and you will be more on the way.

Noahide. You just did something really amazing.  You just stepped right up and, told us the truth about what's happening.  Every single guy here knows how hard that is to do.  Here there will be no shaming.  We're all dealing with the same addiction, the same yetzer harah, and we're all taking care of ourselves and each other in this amazing site, through which H'KBrchHu blesses us all.

Welcome.  Warm welcome.  Just get through today.  Just ask H" to help you through today.  You can do that.  Just today.

Post and post and post.  Just let it rip.  It'll be ok.  You can do this.

Keep letting us know how you're doing, and if you need anything.

Holy Yid wrote on 04 Jul 2010 02:26:


My story, wow, thats scary. Well, I might as well. I was never raised, never taught the right way, never shown the love of Hashem,  never shown parental love, my life was filled with pain and abuse, I was lost as a teen, drugs alcohol, although I never really got into s*x, probably because of the abuse, I did experiment, and had s*x a few times, but I discovered Porn around age 20 or so, and when I was about 22 I started viewing it, I stopped for a while but then I went back, I wasn't yet addicted at that time,  about 4 years ago I started viewing it on a regular basis, and Mb'ing while watching it only made my addiction worse, I have been trying to stop and finding I can't. I thought I had this beat, I felt recently like I had a breakthrough, like Hashem spoke to me, like I had made a renewed promise to stop, and then, something happened, a huge stress in my already stressful life, and I went to my old comfort, porn and Mb. I felt so sick. I still do, I have slipped 3 times in the past 2 days, the holidays are not easy for me also, I am alone. I am afraid to write too much, I am still not sure what to tell you or what is alright to say, I am also afraid of rejection.

1daat wrote on 04 Jul 2010 05:24:


Thank you, this helped me a lot.  although, i am still ashamed :-[

Hey Noahide,

Thanks for sharing your story with us. Were all in the same boat here so theres really nothing to be ashamed of here. Were all here with the same issues. Someone making fun of your story would have to be a hypocrite because the only reason were here is because were addicts.

Be well and have a great day!

-Yiddle

Yiddle2 wrote on 04 Jul 2010 19:09:


thank you, you too, happy 4th of July.

Shame is the tool of the Yetzer Hara, when we feel bad we have a hard time resisting, we don't care, we look fora quick way out. We all started out very ashamed and witime we learned to accept ourselves and through that to win the YH.

If you were not taught right from wrong how much responsilbity do you think you have here?

Hi, So how did today go?  Saying Rephua Shlema for all of us on here.  You too.

Holy Yid wrote on 06 Jul 2010 20:32:


I feel like it is all my fault...I ache in my heart.