I like your username.

All the best with your recovery. Don't dwell in the shame, just focus on doing whatever it takes to get through each and every day. Good luck, fellow yid!

Rabboisai,

I write today with no small amount of pride in reaching level 2 - on my way to level 3 IY"H. As I travel on this journey to 90, I realise more than ever that perhaps the toughest avoida is actual shmiras einayim when out and about. If one can be disciplined and keep strong with old habits - p**N and m****ing, the Y"H sends new challenges in what one encounters on the streets. No doubt, he has many dirty tricks in his locker and many willing accomplices all over the world. It is so easy to step out of the home, the office, the shul and look up and bang, something catches our eye. We tell oursleves "Oh I only looked for a second, maybe my eyes lingered a little longer than that, but it is not a fall and surely that is not so bad. We all know though that looking leads to thinking and thinking leads to doing. Let us all be stronger to head the Y"H off at the pass. Before stepping outside, spend a few seconds reminding ourselves that our neshamos are worth more than this, prepare yourself to walk talk, but keep your eyes under control and we will all be much more able to fight the challenges if we avoid presenting ourselves with them to begin with.

It is so hard my brothers; but this is the mission we have chosen to accept. Let us learn to excel at this. Let us keep our heads above the shmutz and let H" help us on our journeys. B'Derech She'Odom Roitzeh Lalechos Bo, Molichim Oiso. If He knows that we really, genuinely want to keep clean, He promises to help us.

Let go and Let God.

Kol Tuv

Haleivi

Right on!

Another major post by Halevi76.  (btw, did you get my pm?).  Somewhere on the site I picked up a trick that works for me.  If I look that extra nano-second, I press my fingernail hard into my thumb for six seconds (close my eyes if safe).  Don't know why it works, but does for me. 

Mazel Tov to level 2.  On to 3!

I only need to get through today and I will be on level 3 - So why is it getting harder?

My friends!! It is very hot in London these past few days and I think you all know what sort of problems that presents. So few Kosher places to look. Very hard to keep eyes closed or fixed on the ground 24/7.

Does the Y"H have power over the weather? Why is this happening at such a critical stage of my Refuah? I am so determined, but feel myself getting weaker. Interesting that I no longer feel a cheshek so much to look for shmutz online or to m****ate, but the chesek to look at what is all around me grows and grows - the Y"H is trying to tell me it is not so bad - what can you do? You can't help seeing what is in front of you - and if all you do is looking that can't be so bad? So what if you let your eyes linger a little longer than strictly necessary - you are not doing anything about it - you are still a good Yid.

Same old Y"H, same old tactics! He has been trying that one on since Adam and Chava. It's not so bad - if all you do is touch the tree, surely nothing can come of that can it?

I feel I need further chizuk, especially now.

Can anyone help?

Thanks and kol tuv

Haleivi76

shalom alechem bro!
i hear exacty what your saying mate!
infact sometimes io even convince myself that if i break it now ill be stronger later, i just dont realise that actually im making my yeser hara stronger,
i know i say this alot but it really is a good parable; the yeser hara is like a dog, the more you feed it the stronger it gets, so when you dont feed it, it starts gonig menatl for foood, pushing and barking louder than it ever has done before, however eventually it gets weaker, and although thereafter it may go on an outburst for final cries for you to "feed it" it is funamentally geeting weaker whilst your getting stronger....so level 3 comming up, course you "dog"is going menatla, its looking at the very real prospect of never getting fed again, so its scared and is trying to bring you down, remeber, the yeser hara is standing over you with a cup of poison saying drinl drink drink, it wants you to go to gehnom!!!

DO NOT,

keep on going brother, stay out of the ring...

Well done on making it to this stage.

I found it interesting that in the winter mornings, it is colder just after sunrise than at any other time.
the reason I was given is because as the sun heats the ground, the air immediately above it warms and rises. This causes colder air to be blown in to take its place. This phase however does not last long and soon everything warms up.

Perhaps the same is true with this struggle. The most difficult part is just after we begin to see the light.
But if we only make it through that day, the warmth will penetrate everything around us.

Hang in there!

As always my friends, thanks for the kind messages of support. Not a day goes by when I do not marvel at the camaraderie and genuine feelings of warmth and affection that stretch out from all corners of the earth here on GYE.

I believe that not one of us would be strong enough to beat this thing without that love and support of others who are feeling the same pain but who also rejoice in each other's achievements. It says in Avos: "Asei Lecho Rav, Uk'nei lecho chaver" Find yourself a Rabbi and acquire yourself a friend. Why do the Avos suggest we must acquire (buy) a friend. Should not friendship be something given and obtained freely, through altruistic connections of rapport and kinship and due to a common purpose in life?

The answer is that we may have something in common with a lot of people, but not be their friends; we can like a lot of people and not be their friends, we can share a common purpose with people, but once that purpose disappears, so will the friendship.

A true, lasting friendship can of course not be bought with money. The acquisition that the Avos intended is through giving and receiving. A friend is someone who will put you before himself in your time of need, knowing but not expecting that you will reciprocate in his. He will show you that he cares by putting himself out for you or reaching out to you when you need it the most, even when it may be hard for him to do so. You in turn will feel close to him and seek to help him when you sense he may require it.

For these reasons, I begin my posts by addressing you all as my friends. Why? You have all given me so much in my time of need - and you don't even know who I am! I hope that in my small way, I have suceeded in helping some of you, but please allow me to issus an open invitation to all those on here who are in need of a friend. Please make contact with me. I will do anything I can to help you at your times of need.

I wanted to ask the chevra for some advice with something that I am currently struggling with. I have posted here recently about the struggles that face us in the streets, particularly in this hot weather. It is hard enough to maintain safeguards when having to travel out and about, but with self control and the tips that have been recommended, I believe it is possible. I have a bigger problem. The recptionist at my office dresses very inappropriately. All the other women I work with are reasonably tzanua, but she seems to have no self respect at the best of times (even when the weather is cold), but these past few days, it has become ridiculous. I cannot avoid coming across her, as she is on reception whenever I walk in or out of the office, she parades herself around the office all day long, encouraging the men to look at her and there are times in my working day when I need to speak to her in order to do my job.

Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can do to protect myself from this brazen servant of the Y"H?

Any advice would be gratefully received.

Kol tuv and Gut Shabbes,

Haleivi

Here's a trick I read here.  Think of her as having horrible bad breath, doesn't bathe but once a month, and is hairy like an ape.

Pick a spot on her forhead near her hairline.  stare at that, and don't give her the satisfaction of letting herself be used by the yh.

Stay stong, my friend.  If it's any help, out here in California it's like walking into the lion's den, just to walk outside.  Every other post in different guys' threads are dealing with the same thing.  I'm goin g over the the "What works for me" thread.

Have a good Shabbos,  Your determination inspires me.

1daat, lol seriously. great idea!

Good shabbos to you all.

http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2185.msg72430#msg72430

Oh, and every time you think of using her image, daven for her benefit, instead. 

There are tons of other tricks that might help, too. It all depends on what you want. Hutra (a little freedom) or just dechuya (postponement)?

8)

when you look at her make sure your heart is not controlling your eyes only your mind [look least time possible ] or make belive she is dead .
remember once you open the door for the yh even a crack he will come in and be your boss and tell you what to do were to look and then there is no turning back ,so make sure you put all the locks on your door and hang a your not welcome sighn on it hatzlocha raboh

Halevi, It's getting harder for me too.  Here I've learned to live in the solution rather than in the problem.  For me the problem is engaging in dueling with the yetz--trying to out muscle it, stay strong against it, etc.  Not working too good.  My will power ain't got much coyach.

So I'm trying to now go to living in the solution (or at least what I think is living in the solution).  I'm making sure I get up a little earlier (prime time for the yh: "just a few more minutes") so I can read a little Chassidus before Shacharis, and not have to speed daven.  Takes an extra 15 minutes.  Then not waiting till the last minute to daven Mincha.  I'll keep you posted.

My kavonoh has gone out the window.  It's another attack.  I re-read so many tephilot.  But for some strange reason, doesn't seem to be an attack reading Tehillim.  Go figure.

Meantime, my friend, we all have each other here, we have our yiras and ahavas, That He has put in us, and then there's our hishtadlus, our avodah, puny though it seems to me at times.

I'm here for you any time.

Let us be strong together, ALL klal Yisroel.  Soon Moshiach will come.  What a relief THAT will be.

Meantime...

To all the recent replies - Thank You!

To Guard, 7UP, Dov and all the other moderators - Thank you!

To my GYE Buddies (You know who you are) -  A huge Thank You!

Today I'm CELEBRATING 20 days. I say celebrating because thanks to all of you - I have learnt that every passing day is something to celebrate. When I started on GYE, I thought the 90 days was a great idea, but boy did it seem like a mountain to climb. You read everyone's posts and understand that the only way is one day at a time - we can all do one day right? However until today, each passing day seem liked such a small step. I have been guilty of saying I am 'Only' 10 days, or 'just '15 days. Well now I know different. I could never have dreamed of 20 days before starting on GYE, back when I was a lost soul, drowning in the dirt.

Being on here has made me so much more aware of Nisyonos as they come to me throughout the day, which is tremendous. Being aware is the first line of defence. A bit like radar or an early warning missile system. It helps give us perhaps an extra second or two to prepare our tactics to overcome them. Take this morning for instance; I received an e-mail from a woman who must have found my e-mail address from an old subscription to an inappropriate website and wrote to me making very shmutzdik suggestions. She had attached some pictures (B"H they were attachments and not in the main body of the e-mail) and I was able to be strong and delete the e-mail and block her e-mail address without a second thought (and obviously without opening the attachments). I could never have had that strength without GYE and the chizuk you have all given me.

This to me is proof, if I needed it, that I can overcome the Y"H. I can beat him to a pulp, I can be the Gibbor - if I work at it, if I want it enough, with your help.

Rabboisai,

For you all today a Brocho:

May you all get through today being strong and in control.
May you all find a source of inspiration today to fight the Y"H wherever he rears his ugly head.
May you all do something today that makes you feel pride.
May H" give you all the koiach to achieve your goals, grab your dreams with both hands.

and please all join me today to drink LeChaim for reaching my 20. You are all part of it, so why not take some Simcha from it?!

Kol tuv,

Haleivi

Halevi!!!!

Cingrats, and as your best wished spelled out so well, ashrecha that you put your main concern on today. Not on yesterday and not on tomorrow....and not on any other impossible or mostly irrelevant things.

Love those font things....