I am a single guy who has been dealing with lust addiction since I was 14. It medicated my deep seeded feelings of depression and loneliness and social awkwardness. Addiction is a life style apparently and I have never been able to live up to my real strengths and values because life is really just within the addiction, and little successes are just fillers. I am very excited about this website and I have recently started the 90 day chart. I hope and pray that it will work. ( I surrender my addiction to him....) I hope to hear from you

I was speaking with a friend of mine lately and he said to me something which really hit home. Man is a combination of animal and "chelek elokah mimaal", literally a part and parcel of G-d above. We all know this and we know that we were created to serve Hashem which really means making sure that in the never ending struggle between those two parts, the G-dly part wins. Of course before Adam sinned, his will was only to  make that side win. The temptation to do other wise never would have crossed his mind. The temptation was external in form of a serpent. Had Adam not fallen for that temptation, the World would have served its purpose and been done with, the Seforim tell us.

However, when Adam did sin, he not only didn't bring the world to its ultimate purpose, but he made man a combination of good and evil. Now, man himself is confused at his core sense of self what he really wants to do. Does he want to be the G-dly part of himself or the animal part. It is really confusing. All this is known. Here is where I add my part:

The world today is becoming more spiritual. Not only the Jewish world ;everyone. Unfortunatelly though, this isn't always because people are doing the work of overcoming their animal will with the powers of their spiritual will. Sadly, we have reached a point where we really would like to live out our animal will. We can't though and only because we become depressed being that we are also spiritual beings and we feel horrible and empty every time we feed the animal. this last generation of the days of Mashiach is that last "Birur Hatov" translated as detecting the good. Because it isnt about what we will do anymore but it is deep down to the core of us to what Adam messed up: our Ratzon; our will. Every teenager today knows that the world of temptation isn't what it's cranked up to be. The problem is that he/she doesn't believe that they , meaning themselves; their ineer core of will, wants and can really be anything else! So, we are left in the middle. We want Taava but it depresses us but we are not sure that we want spirituality so were stuck in limbo untill the next fall for taava, because the Yetzer hara had enough time pass by and we forget how depressing the last fall was.

The answer is that we must always remember and believe that Adam didn't eliminate the Yetzer Tov. Even! in cases when we are addicted, and don't have a sense of free will, we are still people who at core have a chelek eloka mimaal, and it is only a matter of knowing how to bring that out with the help of G-d. So, never think that this addiction is who you are! It is just the opposite . It is this last challenge of facing exactly that question. Who are we? And fighting with G-ds help to bring that to really be who we are.

I think this is a great chizzuk for the struggle that I and everyone on this websites is struggling with.

Hi ratzon d

Welcome.  I'm a neubie too.  soon lots and lots of guys will come and offer support and very helpful suggestions.  The genuineness of their concern and caring will make a huge difference.  Every time the yetzer starts noodling in my mind, being able to come here and "talk", or even just remembering things some of the guys have said to me helps very quickly.

I don't know much at this point (9days) but I can share with you that I'm a "be the best" kind of guy, and what"s helped a lot is to remember to take one day at a time, do my best, and let H" be the smart Guy.

I'll "look in" after you.

Hey RatzonDetector!

Welcome from the second newest member of the group! Wow - you are such a giving and inspired guy that your debut e-mail is filled with chizuk for the rest of us!

You wrote:  It medicated my deep seeded feelings of depression and loneliness and social awkwardness.

I can relate to that like I can drink a cup of freshly brewed Columbian coffee first thing in the morning. [That is, very well indeed. Been there, done that, got into the T-shirt manufacturing business, started an e-commerce site selling aforementioned T-shirts, squandered the whole lot on coffee equipment that  I never have time to use...]

Seriously, I have been depressed and lonely. I have been socially awkward. I have been anxious and reached despair on lots of occasions. But we made it here! You didn't give up and the RBS"O brought you to this site because He loves you very much.

So you know what? I love you too. And so do all the guys who are going to introduce themselves to you soon.

Just one last thing - if you haven't heard yet - there are two important hand books you can download: The Guard Your Eyes handbook, with real world tools for succeeding in this struggle:  http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/GuardYourEyes%20Handbook.pdf and the Guard Your Eyes attitude handbook, that may very well change your life completely:  http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/GuardYourEyes%20Attitude.pdf.

There's also a 90 day chart, which I am about to set up for myself, here: http://guardyoureyes.org/woh/90day.php, to help you keep on track, on the basis that it takes 90 days to break an addiction.

No doubt others will say it more eloquently that I could, but I feel like it was important to give you those URL's to get you started.

Anyway, hatzlocha raba and welcome aboard. 

NotGivingUpYetOldBean!

Yup, welcome aboard indeed.

Thanks for sharing some of your story. Somehow, your great apparent progress down this road makes me curious:  what has been working for you? Is it one of the phone groups? The handbooks? Obviously, not YET the obsessive posting that I find so helpful . Finding an accountability partner?

Everyone's flavor is gonna end up a little different, of course. What's yours, if you don't mind my being so 'forward' as to ask. Thanks.

Hello! Everything else I could have said has been covered. All the same great to have you on board!