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TOPIC: Hello folks 6891 Views

Re: Hello folks 05 Nov 2010 17:17 #83169

  • oisvorf
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Hi friends,

I saw this Dvar Torah on Parshat HaShavua, and thought that it was tailor made for us addicts

Shabbat Shalom

Shmendrick

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Rabbi Yissocher Frand  -  Parshas Toldos

Yitzchak Prayed...For She Was Barren: Baal HaTurim Notes Inverted Structure

At the end of Parshas Chayei Sarah, the Torah mentions the descendants of Eisav and concludes with the words "These were the years of Ishmael's life: a hundred years and thirty years and seven years, and he expired and he died, and he was brought in to his people. They dwelt from Havilah to Shur – which is near Egypt – toward Assyria; over all his brothers he lay (al penai kol echav nafal)" [Bereshis 25:17-18].

Literally, the word "nafal" in the concluding expression "al penai kol echav nafal" means "he fell over all his brothers". Rashi interprets the word "nafal" to mean "shachan" – he dwelt.

The Baal HaTurim is bothered by this strange usage. The Baal HaTurim comments that there is a message in the juxtaposition of the last words of Chayei Sarah (al penai kol echav nafal) and the first words of Parshas Toldos: "These are the generations of Yitzchak; Avraham bore Yitzchak..." The Baal HaTurim explains that the proximity of the two expressions teach us t hat when Yishmael will fall and be finally defeated in the end of days, then the Moshiach [Messiah] – the descendant of Yishai who is himself a descendant of Yitzchak (Toldos Yitzchak ben Avraham) – will come.

Even in the most terrifying of times, we are comforted by the fact that eventually, with the ultimate downfall of the descendants of Yishmael, we will merit the final redemption by our righteous Moshiach.

Yishmael typifies the power of prayer. He himself was born out of the power of the prayer of his mother Hagar. To this very day, the Arabs excel in prayer, which occupies a significant place in their daily ritual. In order to counteract the power of their prayer, we need to improve the concentration and intensity of our own prayers.

The words of Rabbeinu Bechaye in this week's parsha are particularly important in this regard. On the pasuk "Yitzchak entreated Hashem opposite his wife, because she was barren" [Bereshis 25:21] Rabbeinu Bechaye notes that the pasuk is inverted. It should read "Rivka was barren and could not have children, therefore Yitzchak prayed for her." Rabbeinu Bechaye explains that the intent of the particular structure of that pasuk is to teach us that the prayer was the cause of the barrenness. In other words, G-d caused Rivka to be unable to conceive so that the two of them would find it necessary to pray to Hashem to request a cure.

The simple reading of the pasuk is that the "Cause" of the prayer was the fact that Rivka could not have children and the "Effect" was the prayer itself. Rabbeinu Bechaye says that the truth is the exact opposite. G-d wanted Yitzchak to pray – that was the main "Cause". The "Effect" of this "cause" was that Hashem gave Yitzchak a motivation to pray, namely the fact that he and his wife were childless.

The Almighty wants us to daven because He wants to have a relationship with us. This is what prayer is about – establishing a relationship with Hashem. U nfortunately, most of us are not motivated enough to pursue that relationship unless we have an incentive. Therefore, G-d set up the world so that man should pray for his needs. However, sometimes He sees that this arrangement is not enough to solicit sincere prayer, so G-d gives us "special needs" and "special reasons" to motivate our intense prayer.

The main focus of this pasuk is that Yitzchak needed to pray; his wife was only barren because the Almighty desires the prayers of the righteous.

The Talmud states [Brachos 10a] "Even if a sharp sword is placed against the neck of a person, he should not abandon hope for mercy." Even in such a crisis, a person should not give up hope, but should pray to the Almighty. The Talmud proves this idea by citing the fact that when Dovid HaMelech [King David] came onto the location that was supposed to be his future capital (Yerushalayim) and saw the image of an angel there with an outstretched sword, he could have come to the conclusion that the situation was hopeless. Nevertheless, he prayed.

So often, we encounter situations in life that we feel to be hopeless. But if we bear in mind that the impending catastrophe we are facing is not there because the Master of the Universe wants to cut off our necks, Heaven forbid; on the contrary, we may have reason for hope. The catastrophe is only there because He wants to hear our prayers. That is why we should never give up. If the whole reason the sword is there is to get us to pray, then when we start praying in earnest the sword will be removed.

The idea that G-d wants a relationship with us and that is the cause for Him giving us a "motivation to pray" should give us new hope for the effectiveness of our prayers.
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Re: Hello folks 22 Nov 2010 20:42 #86216

  • oisvorf
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it sure had gotten quiet in this thread lately . . . I guess that I have been very taken up with dealing with some issues alluded to here earlier, which need to be kept off line.

At any rate, i am glad to report that I get a mazel tov...today is day 180 on my journey, which is two times 90, or almost half a year. 

But I am not thrilled about it, because it has been a flawed journey.  While I have BH successfully stayed away from overt porn and M***, I have stayed away from non-pornographic looking at beautiful women on the net or in real life, and have definitely still been feeding my lust addiction.

So I am Bli neder going to try something new for the next 90 days .  No more searching for google images.  No more watching certain newscasters who I am looking at more than listening to.  A greater awareness of looking away in the street (admittedly easier during the winter months), and a greater attempt to really begin to approach what shemiras einayim is all about.

To Infinity  . . . and Beyond!    :

Shmendrick
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Re: Hello folks 22 Nov 2010 20:44 #86218

  • bardichev
kot kot
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Re: Hello folks 23 Nov 2010 02:25 #86286

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Shmen, I can't tell you how good it is to hear from you.  I thought, I should call, I should call, and I was chicken.  I'm sorry.  I know you could use the support.

180 days is just a miracle.  On to the next level.  It has NOT been a "flawed journey".  You addict, you!  You are looking at this from upside down.  You were clean 180 days!  Is this amazing or what!  Especially with what's been weighing on you.

Look at the mountain you've climbed, carrying the burden you've had to deal with.  And you stayed clean. 

Face down on the floor.  Repeat after me, "Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem".  Ok, you can get up now.

I love you, as best I can through this anonymous medium.  Stay in touch

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Re: Hello folks 24 Nov 2010 04:21 #86476

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I beg of you to avoid the silliness of looking at staying sexually pure as an end in itself. Please consider the possibility that - although it is playing with fire, stupid, and deadly - looking at the things you are tempted to look at is not that bad for you, considering where you came from.

I am not condoning looking at women or lusting, or anything like that!

All I am saying is: Do not fool yourself. Let's have a little humility here, folks. We are recovering perverts. In addiction, we naturally tend toward looking at women and schmutz and taking it all in hungrily, and using it with gusto. We are screwed up, in that respect.

Bearing that in mind, I believe that 180 days without sex with yourself or anyone else other than the spouse and no "overt" porn is a wonderful brocha that you do not deserve. Neither do I.

Lechatchila I need to be careful to avoid any lusting at all, because I need to 'respect' my disease and take it dead seriously. But then why would  I suddenly become fair game for the morality game when it comes to b'dieved?! "Ach, how can I do such foolish things!?"

I'll tell you how you can do stupid stuff like that: You are an addict, and that's what addicts do! It's a double-edges sword, this disease-thing. It gives us the humility to be more careful without becoming kedoshim when we are granted success, and it gives us the humility to accept defeat when we screw up. 'Falling' is never the chiddush for you and me - sobriety is! Even for an addict who has been sober for twenty years or more!!

And if that's just words, then I pity myself. I want you to know that if I am sober next year, I'll be a bit surprised....but when I remember Who is on my side, and how strong a gift He gave me with SA and Recovery, then I feel more at ease. But that's all a chiddush, not the failure - that's 'par' for the course, as far as I am concerned.

Of course, if you opt to join the "I have not acted out for a year now - so I am obviously (mostly) healed and no longer an 'addict' like I used to be" - chevra...well, then none of this will be yours.

What do you want? The stuff behind curtain #1, or curtain #2?

Go easy on yourself. It's amazing you (and us) were brought this far, reb yid.
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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Re: Hello folks 24 Nov 2010 04:37 #86484

  • bardichev
What rabbaynu rebbereber=DOV

Is saying is

No absolutes

Why? Because absolutes are rooted in gaavah and you have no where to go but down


I just say

KOT

B
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Re: Hello folks 24 Nov 2010 06:50 #86515

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180 is absolutely beautiful.
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Re: Hello folks 24 Nov 2010 14:46 #86535

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Mazal Tov on 10 times Chai!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: Hello folks 25 Nov 2010 17:25 #86782

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To my favorite Shmendrick in the whole world:

If what I posted above came off as negating or judgemental I am very sorry. I did not mean anything of the sort.

The way I look at it, it's just like one amputee reminding another amputee to take his prosthetic leg "with him this time". Just like many black folks can (and do) get away with using the 'N' word with each other all the time, I feel comfortable referring to anybody like me in recovery using the 'P' words (one rhymes with curve and the other rhymes with 'schmowerless'). I am a walking 'No-Shame Zone'.

:-*

Seeya! 
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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Re: Hello folks 26 Nov 2010 06:20 #86929

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Hey Shmen.  How ya doin with your bintel?
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Re: Hello folks 29 Dec 2010 08:55 #91148

  • oisvorf
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1daat wrote on 26 Nov 2010 06:20:

Hey Shmen.  How ya doin with your bintel?


Vos iz a bintel????

I am sorry that I have not been here for a while.  Been busy, trying to make some money, catch up on other responsibilities, began therapy .... all sorts of stuff.

Main reason ... I have Baruch Hashem not felt the "need" to be here that much.

In terms of my p** addiction, it seems that this has been taken away from me to a large extent, BH.  As I have sescribed here a bunch of times, I seem to be able to control that fairly easily at this point, with the help of K-9 and the chizuk I have received.  In particular, I am tring to be on Duvid Chaim's call as often as I can - he is a true angel from Heaven.  I still do have a lust addiction, as in viewing pretty women on the net and elsewhere, but not much of a porn addiction anymore.

If anything, i seem to have an "opposite" problem lately.  I am not able to adequately perform with my wife (as partially evidenced by my being here at 4:00 AM  :

I do not seem to be able to get turned on enough to be with her.  I told my doctor, even tried Viagra, but gornisht gehelfen.

An interesting turn of events, to say the least.

Anyway, I hope that gam zeh ya'avor

Best to all of you

Shmendrick
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Re: Hello folks 31 Dec 2010 00:49 #91384

  • Yosef Hatzadik
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shmendrick wrote on 29 Dec 2010 08:55:

1daat wrote on 26 Nov 2010 06:20:

Hey Shmen.  How ya doin with your bintel?


Vos iz a bintel????


Are you familiar with the famous quote:"I have a dream...."


Hinei anachnu me'almim alumim. We tied bundles, or in yiddish, mir huben gebinden bintelach
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Re: Hello folks 22 Mar 2011 17:52 #101575

  • oisvorf
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Hi everybody

I have not been here in the longest time, and I apologize for that (for anyone who cares) . . . I basically have getting all i can handle in Duvid Chaim HaTzadik's phone conference, and have not felt the need to be here. 

But I hope y'all are well, and miss being here .

Just did want to share some good news . . . Today is Day 300 in my 90 day chart, and I could not have gotten there without a lot of the chizuk that i got here for a long time.  :-*

So thanks to you very much, and Let us all continue to be strong warriors to recovery.

Best wishes

Shmendrick
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Re: Hello folks 22 Mar 2011 18:08 #101577

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WOW!!!

That's GEVALDIGGGG!!!!!
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Re: Hello folks 22 Mar 2011 18:48 #101585

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shmendrick wrote on 22 Mar 2011 17:52:

Hi everybody

I have not been here in the longest time, and I apologize for that (for anyone who cares) . . . I basically have getting all i can handle in Duvid Chaim HaTzadik's phone conference, and have not felt the need to be here. 

But I hope y'all are well, and miss being here .

Just did want to share some good news . . . Today is Day 300 in my 90 day chart, and I could not have gotten there without a lot of the chizuk that i got here for a long time.  :-*

So thanks to you very much, and Let us all continue to be strong warriors to recovery.

Best wishes

Shmendrick


I am thrilled to hear you are doing so well. I (at least) missed you.

Can you share any experiences from your success that we might be able to learn from and appreciate?
I am not big enough to not do something I WANT to do because I know it is wrong, but I've been around long enough not to want to do many things, even though they are really enticing at the first glance.
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