OISVORSH SHMOISVORF

SHMENDRIK SHMENDRIK

THE MAIN THING IS THAT U ARE HERE

GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

Warmest welcome dearest chaver,

over-here on the forum the מנהג המקום is to share what works for me  rather then "preach"!!

This past Erev Pesach marked  one year of clean for me! and if i didn't have a no-nonsense filter (meaning  a filter that someone else has the password) i wouldn't have had a fighting chance. PERIOD!!! NADA!!! not one day clean. when i gave the password to someone else was day numero uno in recovery for me!

here is a link to the GYE K9 filter page http://www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=24

my deepest and most sincere prayers to your continued success

with tremendous respect to a hero warrior

Noorah

PS your second choice for a name while a bit better then the first, also needs to go :D :D :D

The people you see in porn are making fake sounds of pleasure.  The way they tolerate the positions is through the use of drugs to numb the pain.  It takes them so long since they find it so difficult to "perform."  If these are comparisons you are making to your relationship with your wife you have definitely come to the right place and not a minute too late!  The greatest danger this nonsense has on your relationship is when you start to compare, because no matter how good you have got it, it will never compare with Porn (not because porn is better it is just a very different beast).

Dear Reb Shmendrick,

Shalom Aleichem,

  I always like to look deeply into people's names. There are alot of hidden secrets revealing the past as well as the future in one's name.

To "me" it is very significant  that you call yourself "Shmen drick"

Consider the fact thay you did not choose the name "Shmen dreck"

This shows that your future is great!

I am approaching close to 2 years on this forum, and I would like to somehow save you much time.

Can you do the following?

1) Admit that you are an addict to internet "P".

2) Do some sole searching, and see that somewhere in your life you are
    not feeling fulfilled. You have doubts about yourself, your      relationship with Hashem etc. etc. Your are hurting somewhere?

  3) Know that as long as you have access to internet you will continue to  view interent "P", and not change.

  4)  Understand that it is point #2 above, (your discontment in life on some level, that will continue to "need" the big "P" outlet as a means of distraction.

  5) Believe, and understand that until you work on the root, i.e. point #2, (to change the middos, that bring on this discontement that Hashem has given to you personally, in order to get closer to him, then your need for "P" will disappear.

  6) The quickest way to do this, is to join one of the phone groups TODAY.

This will guarantee that a shmendrick will NEVER turn into a shmenDRECK!

You should have tons of hatzlacha.

strugglingyid wrote on 20 Apr 2010 07:15:


I think there is some ruth to this, but only some.  Yes, you are right about some crazy positions, acrobatic this or that, etc....  But  there is much that is real also, IMHO.  I don't want to get graphic here, but to want to last at least 2 minutes in normal relations should not be that unusual, I don't think.

Some of what I have seen are videos that are meant to be instructional for real people in helping them to be better spouses, and unless I am totally wrong, one would have an expectation that they had some connection with reality.

Anyway, of course porn is different, but that is not to say that there is nothing that is the same.

I do hope to gain much from being here, as I see many have before me, but I will try to stick with being intellectually and emotionally honest about what I really believe to be true, and not kid myself, to the best of my ability.

Thanks so much for your thoughts

me wrote on 20 Apr 2010 10:11:


Never thought of making such a diyuk;  But hey, thank you!




Thank you,

This is interesting to think about.

Yes, of course I have discontentment in life, as many do.  In my case, I am the Rabbi of a large shul but unlike the small friendly shul I was in before, I am growing increasingly disgusted with the shul politics, the inability to be anything more than the Saturday morning entertainment for most of the BalleBatim (sp?), the kvetching, etc etc. I have issues with one of my kids who gives us a very hard time, I struggle with an overeating problem, my finances are in the toilet, I just went through a terribly disappointing reality check with a person who I looked up to for may years, .... I could go on.

But in my previous position, when I was much happier, I was just as addicted, perhaps more so. 

I find that

when I am depressed I get the urge to look

when I am happy I get the urge to look

when I am dissatisfied with my accomplishments I get the urge to look

when I am thrilled with an accomplishment I get the urge to look

when I am bored I get the urge to look

when I am very stressed under a tight deadline I get the urge to look

Get the idea?

It does not seem to matter whether I am fulfilled or not, feeling spiritual or not, just has a great chizuk or not...Mr Yetzer Hara, the great voyeur within me, is always craving new and more visual experiences.

I know that the 12 step program has an incredible rack record - I have done work in the past researching  AA and have seen its power, and I am opening myself to trying it here, as I know I have this urge and that I am powerless to get rid of it for more than brief periods (or so I tell myself - deep down I know that plenty of times I could control myself more if I really wanted to)

I hope that you are right that I will arrive at some nirvana like peace with Hashem that will tame the beast and make me happy and fulfilled and then my "need for "P" will disappear" .  But for now, that seems pie in the sky.  I suspect I will always have a need, just like alcoholics do, but my hope is that I will be able to achieve "sobriety", and keep it under control.

Thanks for listening

Shmendrick (and a shtickel oisvorf)

..when I am depressed I get the urge to look

when I am happy I get the urge to look




First you should know that this is not a stirah, i.e. wether feeling up, or down, and yet you are still pulled to look. No stirah at all, and you should also know that we here no exactly what you are talking about.

We have perverted, and used this intoxicative neuronal, and moronal stimulation to pick us up when we feel down. And then, even we we are experiencing a "good" day of success etc, we find ourselves back at the same sewer. This time it is "to party". Yes, i can use the same drug to cover over my feelings of frustration, and disgust, or use the same drug to reward myself with some partying....to celebrate the so called "good" days. Remember, our minds have been rendered to confused dreck.

  BUT, the bottom line is:  even when you are experiencing those so called "good" days, what you really mean to say is that "things" have gone well for you today....And, on the "bad" days,.....things have not gone well today.  BUT, on a deeper level, let's remove the days, and looks at ourselves. The days change each, and every day, but we stay the same. We are the same miserable person, (on some level) wether it be a good day or bad day. So, we cannot run, and hide from ourselves."The real you" will always surface...on some level, and not neccessarly a conscious one.

So, I/we here on this forum have all experienced waking up to a "good" day, feeling positive, having had a good nights sleep etc, and looking forward to the great day ahead, and then.........a few hours later....WHAT HAPPENED?

 It is not the day that must change, but rather Hashem is urging us to make the "real" change....deep down. By doing this we will no longer...on a deep level have this need nor interest to go back to the "P".

So, Duvid Chaims groups is just now starting today the 12 step part of the BigBook  and you can join. This is the part were we addicts begin to change...not the days, but ourselves.

http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/hotline/Group.asp

hi

welcome! im not so good with so good with yiddish, could someone please translate oisvorf?

thanks,

much hatslocho!

ois literally means OUT

vorf literally means to THROW

so oisvorf is sort of a THROWOUT,reject,thrown on the outside-you get the drift

thats why I hate the name

no Yid is an oisvorf

no matter what

SHMENDRIKK

LOOK AT HOW  THE YH PLAYS ALL CORNERS OF THE COURT

HE IS SICK PATHATIC AND LOW

KEEP ON TRUCKIN

b

PS THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY 1 YEAR

bardichev wrote on 20 Apr 2010 19:30:


Thanks so much Berdichev!

Speaking of playing all corners of the court (and not quite sure what you mean), man you are tempting me with that nice big ice cream cone in your pic.....overeating is my other big addiction!

Which leads me to wonder . . . now that I am going to attempt the 12 step program...is it a good idea to try tackling both my lust and overeating addictions at the same time???  My sense is why not, it is the same process...but maybe it would be setting myself up for failure by trying too much at once.

Any thoughts most welcome.....

Thanks to one and all who responded, even if I didn't respond directly to you I appreciate your writing very much

Best wishes

Shmendrick (ok not an oisvorf - sheesh!) :

I am pretty new here as well, but wanted to welcome you and to give you a kol hakovod for joining this online community.  I cannot recommend a filter highly enough -

One thing I have learned that has been a huge help since joining GYE is that this problem effects many Jews from all levels of Yiddishkeit - just knowing that I am not so unique, and knowing that other frum Jews struggle with a problem that for a long time I thought of a my own ugly secret has helped me beyond measure with dealing with it.  Your post was another lift along the road to recovery, and I thank you very much for coming here and having the courage to tell us about your struggle.

Kol tuv,

Duvid

shmendrick wrote on 20 Apr 2010 19:53:


I am new to the 12 steps and cannot comment directly on that...
But from my personal experiences in all other areas... I find that when trying to change, my biggest Y"H is to try to change everything overnight (and finish Shas in between... )

I personally,  only maintain long term growth if it was accomplished gradual and at a comfortable pace....

We say by Mariv:
V'hoser Sutun M'lfinenu I'meacharenu

To ask G-d to take the Y'h away from blocking us from moving forward makes sense...
But who cares if the Y'h is behind us...? Isn't that where he belongs...?

The answer is that sometimes the Y'h stands behinds us and tries to push us forward too much... and he thus gets us to boomerang back to where we started (or even further back....)

Others feel that there is not much danger in taking on too much...
I"m merely sharing my personal experiences (in other areas...)

Much success Brother....

dear Shlemeel,

I mean Shlemazal,

I mean Shrek,

I mean Shem Zayis Zoch,

I mean Shmendrink, whatever....

After all, what's in a name...?

Again, Velcome to our community, and Kol HaKovod for checkin out DC's call today. Like I said then, you certainly don't sound like a shmendrik to me. And now after reading your thread so far, you obviously don't think like one either.

You are in the right place, surrounded by a bunch of nuts and bolts that know you better than you know yourself. This is the one place on earth where it's safe to open up, no one's judgmental, and everyone is willing to give and get chizuk no matter what level they are on. So I say, Welcome Home. Walk around the place. Get to know it. READ READ READ and POST POST POST. Imagine - you are now using the exact kochos you used to go to the wrong places, to come hear and use your eyes to read and grow in Kedusha!! Guard had a chizuk email about this recently - this is the way to tikkun!! (BTW, are you getting the emails?)

Don't be dismayed that you joined the DC group this far into the process - you can catch up with the reading on your own, and you can feel free to send me a PM or email if you have any questions about the text or how to apply something you've read.

We're all in this together, and BH you have joined with us - I know I'm going to learn a lot from you, as are we all.

KOL TUV!!

hoping4change wrote on 20 Apr 2010 19:55:


Thank you Duvid....I hope we will draw strength from each other, and from all the other holy yidden here.

Speaking of people from different backgrounds - it occurred to me that it is meaningful that I began this journey on Yom Ha-Atzma'ut, a day in which we declared independence and stood up to face the challenges that will be thrown at us with no looking back, with the help of Hashem

May this be the Atchalta D'Geula ! ! !

Chag Sameach

SHmendrik