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Struggling and happy to be here
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Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!
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TOPIC: Struggling and happy to be here 1321 Views

Struggling and happy to be here 08 Mar 2010 18:11 #56959

  • einodmilvado
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Hi everyone. I'm so glad that I found GYE's message board. I feel so much better knowing there's a safe place to "talk" about everything thats going on inside with other guys who are fighting the same battles. Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm 25 years old. I like in New Jersey and work in the food industry. I'm married for two years, no kids yet. I'm frum and am very interested in growth. I grew up in a modern orthodox home, but personally didn't really care about halacha from the age of 11 to 18. I had a rough high school experience and I chose to wipe my hands clean from a system that I saw only negatives in and no positives. At 18 I went to Eretz Yisroel, learned in a few different yeshivas, and joined the IDF. I served in combat in Gaza. My whole life, I've always had friends who were girls, girlfriends, friends with benefits, you name it...I'm happily married and love my wife. My main issue when it comes to shmiras habris is pornography. It seems like I've been struggling with it forever. I go a couple of days, then I fall. Go a couple of days, then fall. over and over and over. I beat myself up each time, do teshuva, then jump back on the horse and keep riding. I'm committed to fighting and winning, no matter what it takes. I realize that I can't do it alone. I need help.
Thanks for reading!

YD
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 08 Mar 2010 18:54 #56974

  • shemirateinayim
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Shalom Alaichem....

      The sites administrator will be around shortly with the 'welcome pachage'. Use it, all of it.



On another note, although installing a filter (k9 is grear, and free) will help, you will always find a way to enjoy shmutz. There are no shortage of venues, and nothing to stop you. The key to working on this p-- addiction is to work on yourself. Many people take a long time to come-around to that realization. And even after posting their introduction, it can still take YEARS untill the finnaly start working on themselves. It took me 1.5 years, and I am still not realy trying.
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 08 Mar 2010 19:16 #56976

  • Yosef Hatzadik
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Welcome to the club!

This a club of fighters! No guy will be left behind! We are in it together, we are in it to the finish line!

Keep posting, post your triumphs, post your slips & falls [if there should be any, God forbid]. This thread is all yours. Use it as you wish. You WILL get lots of encouragement. As a former soldier you undoubtfully know that you can't win a war alone. We are your comrades in arms. We are rooting for your success.


Remember: The Yetzer Horah may have won one battle, but WE will win the war!!
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 08 Mar 2010 19:27 #56977

  • bardichev
WELCOME

WE ARE FIGHTING WE ARE ONE MAN CLOSER TO VICTORY NOW THAT YOU ARE HERE!!!!!
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 08 Mar 2010 19:59 #56988

  • the.guard
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Dear SiyataDishmaya,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Pornography is the crack-cocaine of our day and age. It is one of the most addictive behaviors. Welcome to the club. All of us here can identify exactly with what you describe.

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 09 Mar 2010 01:12 #57062

  • silentbattle
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I'm glad that you're Happy to be here! Welcome! This IS a wonderful place to be!

Part of being here, and opening up, is slowly realizing how much we can accomplish. We can live without lust...

I think it's beautiful that you've decided to come here and work on this issue - hashem is proud, of you, THAT I can guarantee!
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 09 Mar 2010 06:04 #57094

  • 123.trying.123
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Welcome...

Great to have a new member join our family....

Keep on posting...

Also over time  try to find some members who you can relate to... and make sure to keep in touch with them for the long haul...

Peace and Love Brother...
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 09 Mar 2010 07:02 #57098

  • zalmandovid
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welcome! I am also new to this place. It is definitely the right place to start on your journey of growth. Everyone here is very supportive. They also have great advice. I feel a little better knowing there is someone else new around here who is around my age. Good Luck!!
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Re: Struggling and happy to be here 09 Mar 2010 09:33 #57106

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zalmandovid wrote on 09 Mar 2010 07:02:

welcome! I am also new to this place. It is definitely the right place to start on your journey of growth. Everyone here is very supportive. They also have great advice. I feel a little better knowing there is someone else new around here who is around my age. Good Luck!!


Don't know maybe the two of you can kind of kook up (I meant Hook up...)

Either way I love all you guys who come here to make yourselves better people....

May G-d be with both of you (and all the rest of my holy brothers and friends....)

Oy Gevalt Gevalt.....

Peace and Love my Holy Friends.....
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