WOW 3 DAYS!!! If the number 3 looks small in your eyes, then think of it as 72 hours!! Or better yet, 4320 minutes!!!

This struggle is on a minute-by-minute basis, just like you describe the urges that raged in your head today. 

Keep it up! You can do it!!!

P.S. I hope I did the math right:)

aryeh1 wrote on 03 Sep 2025 04:39:

Thank you Brother Aryeh,

Your message (and your math) checks out

Kol Tov

wow!!

what a strong way to look at these counting!!!!

Day 4 coming to a close. Today was similar to yesterday. Again, I wasn't in control of my shmiras einayim. I am sorry to admit that I was looking at inappropriate content (same general stuff as yesterday - mostly not explicit, but still shmutz) at various points throughout the day. I have filters on all of my devices, but lemaiseh I'm very good at getting around them. My yetzer hara is extremely intelligent and tech savvy lol. Baruch Hashem, though, I managed to actually block up one of my primary access points as of this afternoon, and I don't think I will be able to get around that. Still trying to work with TAG to block my other ways of getting around my filters, and I'm really hoping that works, because that would be a huge step in leveling the playing field between me and the yetzer hara. So, on a shmiras einayim front, not the best day. But, whereas last week, just like I said yesterday, I would've given in the first time I saw any of this imagery with no hesitation or self control whatsoever, I didn't give in today! I almost took it too far once or twice, but my neshama was begging me deep down not to, and to keep going and making strides. Honestly so insanely hard to resist the crazy temptations, and I never actually thought I could do it. Throughout the day I kept doubting myself, kept thinking that I was going to fall so soon, so why not now. But, my fellow chashive yidden, I didn't. I kept holding on, kept pushing forward, minute after painstaking minute. And here I am, smiling as I'm writing, reporting an overall positive, clean day, and another devastating blow to the yetzer hara. 

p.s. thank you to kleinheim for giving me chizzuk when I needed it most today!

Day 6 winding down. BH I'm still clean, and haven't even looked at anything bad today or yesterday (which was not the case a couple of days ago)! I've had some mild urges but didn't give in bichlal. I'm starting to think that this challenge, which I once thought was insurmountable, is actually something that I can beat. I've gone 6 clean days before, but usually it would be if I was very busy and didn't have time to think about being nichshal. I don't remember there ever being a time where I've gone this long when I had so many opportunities to fail and still pushed through, which is what I've done this past week. BH, I'm very proud of myself, and I hope that I can continue the streak.

I've also noticed that staying clean has had a general positive impact on my life and personality. I'm more motivated, more positive, more giving, more fulfilled, and just plain happier. My wife even remarked that I've been so helpful and positive lately. It's reassuring to know that my efforts to overcome these struggles are paying off on a broader scale than just beating the yetzer hara. 

I went to the mikvah today, and every time I've gone in the past, I'd always daven for the same thing: that from now on I'll be tahor, and this whole struggle will be behind me. I would go in, and, of course (and I'm sure everyone's familiar with this) it didn't even take a few days before I was nichshal again. But this time I went in, I truly believe that my tefilos could come true. I now have the motivation, resources, and support group for meaningful, lasting change, and I couldn't be happier about that. 

Wishing everybody a beautiful Shabbos filled with simcha, kedusha, and yeshuos. 

Have you reached out to HHM yet?
What do you do for a living? 

Wow you've climbed a huge hill, I hope it gets easier, stay optimistic  but cautious that more steep slopes can come from unexpected directions. Whatever happens you have a number of huge successes that are worth 1000 or 2000 times more than any falls.
With respect and best wishes.